What if

First of all if I posted this blog earlier this week when I was planning to it would of have a way different tone.  Much more negative, but since I let it simmer and roll around in my brain it became more organic.  The anger is still there, but there is more hope in it now.  For those who wanted a poem I will post it tomorrow, because thinking way too much is like doing a three hour full body workout for my mind.  And with that I leave you with the start.... What if?!

All through your life you ask yourself many questions, and many start with the words "what if".  What if I go to school, What if I get a girlfriend/boyfriend, What if I want kids, What if I want to lose weight etc...  It's amazing that those two words have such a prominent role in our life, and our decision making.   A deep analysis usually follows and if the action to accomplish it is too high or great, we throw it to the side.  Or attempt it for a little while and go back to the way things used to be.  A great example is January is the highest sign up month for Gym memberships, and attendance is good for about two to three weeks.  But by the fourth week usually the gym is a ghost town once again, and to me its sad.  Because every person who joined up in the month asked themselves this one question, "What if I lose weight and have more energy will I look better?", but they should of worded it "When I go the gym...."  As powerful as the words "what if" are, they can't handle a candle to the words "when I!"

     Now I'm going to ask you some hypothetical questions, but don't be alarmed they're not hinting towards anything, just some inner deep thinking points to look at.

1. What if the man who everyone talks to stopped listening?  

       Everybody has issues in life and everybody wants a person to tell them to.  Whether it be a friend, spouse, professional, or a complete stranger.  And unless that person is a real jerk they will listen.  For example I feel I have a sign on my head, or my picture is up on Facebook somewhere saying "just talk and this guy will listen" , which I'm fine with people I know and love, but complete strangers its a little awkward.  I got my hair done the other day and my stylist went on about her problems.  I came very close to asking for a free haircut, and a 30.00 counseling fee.  She went on about her roommates, drug problems, teenage pregnancy, and her moving.  To say it was awkward would be an understatement, but it shows that God gave me ears and a brain, and to be the kind of superhero he wants me to be I  have to use both.    My question to you is when that person stops listening will you lend the world and your ears to help comfort.

2. What if a Super-hero hangs up his cape?

      Everybody has the ability to be a superhero inside you just have to find your power, but what would happen if the hero everyone looks up to hangs up his cape.  No longer flies the skies, lifts the cars, keeps the world turning, and saves kitties stuck in trees.  Hero's are humans too, and even though Superman is from another planet, his core is human.  Hero's cry, yell, smile, have inner and outer battles, good days, and bad days, but still everyone expects them to put a smile on, and go save the world once again.  People get upset if a hero shows one sign of human in them, because we all look up to them, and are afraid if a hero has one down day it shows they are not bulletproof.  The truth is most heroes have had more bad days then good, and that is what who makes them to be who they are today.  I could bore you with super hero orgins for pages upon pages, but instead I'll let you pick your favorite hero, and have you think how they came to be.  Got it, good, heroes are born through adversity.  And what do we all face through out our life, adversity, and the more we overcome adversity, the harder it gets, and the closer you get to superhero status. And when it is time for the hero that everyone looks up to see, decides to hang up his cape, I pray that you will pick up those tights and be the hero that the world will be missing.

3.  What if God give's us so many signs, but then stops when we don't act?

    This past weekend I had three drastically different days.  Saturday was fine until the hell hit, Sunday was awesome, and Monday was just a day.  Not good, nor bad, just there.  I might be over analyzing this, but I believe days like that are the clearest signs, and if we don't take notice they will stop.  I know I will have crap days, great days, and just days. but when its the point where all the days are just days, there's no point anymore.  Crap days are a great tool to learn from and to challenge you, great days are the rewards for the crappy days, and the just days are the days where your to tired to see the lesson or the reward in that given day.  Everyday I wake up with the intention of sitting down and writing my book, writing my ticket out of the Cheese, but one thing always stops me, fear.  Fear to fail, but what if we didn't have that fear.  I will answer you that the world would be filled with crap!  You might think that is a little harsh but hear me out.  Those who overcome that fear of failure have proven to me they deserve to be heard, because if you overcome your toughest critic, yourself, there's nothing in this world that should be able to stop you.  And if others didn't have that fear life would be filled with Participation trophies, and no champions.  That's why when I wake up I tell myself "when I write I will succeed", and not "What if I write will I succeed?", to attempt everyday to overcome that fear, and each day I get closer and closer to putting pen to paper.

So here's my challenge to you: Stop saying What If!!!!!  And instead say "When I".  And never stop challenging yourself on a daily basis, and always overcome that fear to fail.

Superman

First off I found this picture I thought it was really funny, but I don't believe it one bit.  For those that know me know that I have hated Superman most of my life, but it wasn't until this year I realized that he is the man I aim to be.  He always sees the good in people, tries to help everyone in the world, is selfless and never gives up.  His weakness is a piece of rock from his home planet, and this year I have found my kryptonite, and sadly it is embedded in me.  Fear.  Fear that I won't accomplish what I want to in my life, fear that I will just be a nobody, rather than a somebody.  But through my friends and family they give me the strength to pick up my pen, and fight against the kryptonite to continue writing.  A few of you who read this have single handily sewn my cape and placed it on me, and without you I would of never known what it likes to metaphorically fly.  Be so high in the air looking down on the world, and trying my very hardest to bring all my friends and family up with me.  So without further ado, i give you my second poem, Superman.

Superman

We all have our secret identities.

People who we pretend to be.

There's always a side of us that we are afraid for others to see.

Some are afraid to show others they have a heart and care.

Some have a big enough heart. love is all they bare.

And some pretend to have a heart that is no longer there.

I wear my heart on my chest and in plain sight.

So it never falls out of the light.

I know what is wrong and I know what is right.

And my endgame is always in sight.

I may not be human but I now know what is like to be one of you.

I wish love and happiness were the only emotions that I knew true.

But like you I have shed tears too, tears that are blue.

I can lift many things, but my greatest strength comes from my heart.

My parents knew this, knew this from the start.

My family raised a man who will always fly high in the sky.

But they also raised a man who knows it is ok to cry.

Dreams and fantasies who do you want to be.

Would you soar in the sky with me?

We all have a hero in us.

To find it we must learn who to love and who to trust.

You must live with the goal hero or bust.

Never settle for staying on the ground.

Down on this little dirt mound.

Aim for the sky, true and blue.

I know for a fact that you have it in you.

So here's my challenge to all that read this.

Not really a challenge more like a wish.

Fly high in the sky.

Always try.

For then you and I can soar in the big open blue.

Because at that exact moment I will know what it is like to be flying with you.

The Book of Life

On the first day of the year I tried something new instead of writing down resolutions, because resolutions rarely ever work.   Seriously raise your hand if you have ever kept a New Year's resolution, now put your hand down because I can't see you raising your hand, or can I....jk!  On January 1st I wrote a letter to myself to read on January 1st, 2014, about giving myself praise for all that I will accomplish this year, because if you have the mindset that it will get done by the end of the year the only thing left to do is fulfill that promise you made yourself, so you can give yourself that high five at the end of the year.  To give you the cliff notes version of the letter it basically says I will write 25+ blog posts this year, at least a poem a month, lose 15 pounds, no longer have a girly leg, take a shirtless pic of myself, finish writing my book, and be a happier better person all around.  Now that I have given myself the kudos ahead of time I know what I have to do before the end of the year.  So here start's the first official blog posting of 2013, the first of many!!!

Every life is a book authored and co authored by many.  You yourself are a volume of many books in the past dating back to your first living relative.  Just think for a second a part of your great, great, great x100 grandfather or grandmother lives on in you right now.  That is pretty awesome if you ask me.  Which brings me my first point I've heard everyone in your life is a character in your story, but I believe that is only half of it.  Sure each person you meet will either play a huge or small role in your life, but you also will play a role in theirs, so in a way we are more than just characters, we are the writers of our own lives, and everyone around us plays the co author.  It's easy to ignore people in the world and live on a dusty book shelf so to speak, but books are made to be shared, read, hell even loved!!!  There are open book people and closed book people, whichever book they are is their own choice.  They may have been burned in the past, had their heart broken, trusted someone they shouldn't have why they are closed is their own reasons.  Then there are open book people who let anyone and their mother read them, or write their book down and publish it on the internet for others to read (me!).  I have read from a lot of writers if you wanna be a good writer then you have to read, and read alot!  A close friend who I love like a brother told me that since I love to read, I can read the best parts in people and help them bring it out, and see the worst and not judge them for it.  Both books are needed in life and have their role, but sooner or later closed or hard to read books are written off by many, and that is heartbreaking to me, because there must a be a reason why they want to stay on the shelf not being read and if we all took the time to not just look at cover, but to crack it open and read it we would realize all books should be read, enjoyed, and loved.

Every smile, laugh, burp, heart break, high five, fight, etc will always be written in our book we can erase it all want, ignore it even but the imprint will always be there.  But those imprints are what make life interesting. Think for a second would someone want to read a book about your life, and if the answer is no then why not!  We all live an adventure and it's up to us and others around us to write it.  Sure we all face heart break, fights, mistrust but all those adversities are what make us stronger and in turn makes for a greater story in the end.  All the smiles, laughs, farts, burps, great memories are what keep you going, all the bad stuff is what tests you and makes you stronger in the end.  If we learn from the bad things that happen in our book, that adds to the adventure and will make the victory that much sweeter.  Our books would be boring if there was no challenges to overcome, in fact our life would a See Spot Run book!  Those books are fine in the beginning but sooner or later you have to move up in the world.  And the things that happen to us in life are what makes us move toward a greater adventure.  So instead of letting a heartbreak, a fight, a grudge, or mistrust ruin your book, let it help you grow into a better person, and add to the adventure.

Like my blog says "every life is untitled" and I would like to challenge you to think of a title for your own life, if I was choosing my title I would call it "A hero's journey", because it sounds interesting and I would want to read that book.  Granted I don't have a cape (yet), have superstrength (yet), or can fly if others believe that you are a hero you don't need those things.  You just need the things that led people to make that conclusion in the first place, your heart and your mind.   So thank you for helping me title my life so far :)

P.S.....I need poem ideas so hit me up if you have any suggestions :)

Reflection

I was planning on writing poetry down the road again, but today I had an idea, and couldn't get it out of my head, so without further adu, my first poem in many, many years!! 

Reflection

Some put on their makeup.

Others do their hair.

Not me.

I stare.

Stare at the man in the mirror looking back at me.

Looking back at the boy I was.

The man I have become.

See the physical scars.

And reflect on the deeper, inner, scars that incur from growth.

The wrinkles in the face. 

The thinning and fading hair. 

I just stare.

Some put on their makeup.

Others do their hair.

Not me.

I stare. 

Stare at the man in the mirror looking back at me.

Mirrors don't lie.

That's why many do not like them.

They show you the truth of yourself, but only if you look.

Looking at that man reflected back I feel many urges.

High five.

Hug.

Punch.

Turn and walk away.

But instead I just stare.

Some put on their makeup.

Others do their hair.

Not me.

I stare.

Stare at the man in the mirror looking back at me.

I see many things in the mirror that others do not see.

I see the past always trying to haunt me.

Replaying hurtful memories.

Fueling anger, and not forgiveness.

I see the present happiness.

The present is always in battle with the past.

Present always wins.

Some put on their makeup.

Others do their hair.

Not me.

I stare.

Stare at the man in the mirror looking back at me.

While staring my mind wanders.

Wanders far away to the future.

The future where I become the man I'm destined to be.

The one I have decided on.

Happy.

Muscular. 

Lean. 

Successful.

Only love no more hate.

No more anger.

No more fear.

I stare and I feel this feeling in my heart.

Look myself in the eyes.

And make a promise.

This is your future.

This is your destiny.

This is who you will become.

Some put on their makeup.

Others do their hair.

Not me.

I stare.

Stare at the man in the mirror looking back at me.

And smile because I like who I have become.

And am looking forward to who I will be.

The End!

First off I wanted to get this blog out before the 21st of this month, for one reason to signify the end.  Some believe the world will end but other cultures believe it will be a rebirth and another cycle that we all will go through.  I believe the second one is more true.  But couldn't help posting a scary pic of the world ending!!!  And no this is not the last blog either!

Any chance I can get to write about superheros I always take it.  This will be no exception.  Over the past few weeks I've reread all my blogs to see what I have said in the past, and knowing that i wrote those words that I was reading tells me I know deep down they are all true.  Every blog I have written has led up to this one, and I didn't realize that until two or three months ago, when everything started to fall in place, and trigger the transformation of what is to become.  Ralph Waldo Emerson said "The only person you're destined to be is the person you decide to be!"  Well I have decided to become a completely different person and kill off a side of me that gets me nowhere.  The dreamer in me is being transformed into the doer side of me, because dreams are great, but they are nothing if you don't do anything about them.

    

Now the superhero aspect of this.  Each blog I have done so far is in a way my own team of Avenger's I have assembled to take on my own personal Loki, my negative and fearful side.  Each time I posted it was accepted with love and support helping make my words stronger, and making me believe in what I was writing more and more.  I'm not sure if I could add labels to my blogs according to the certain Avengers, but I know for a fact they all build on each other.  Armed with the words I have written from my heart I know deep down that with the support I have now with everyone I know I too can walk up to my negative self and slam him into the ground repeatedly!  Loki brags about having an army, well I have my own Hulk.  My Hulk is my determination to never give up, and never stop fighting.   My Loki's army is my own personal demons and fears that keep me from doing what I wanna do, well from now on I'm unleashing the Hulk on his army, and smashing it into oblivion.  Fear and my demons will not hold me back anymore, what does this mean, it means I pray each night I can move on from person I am right now, and become the person I'm destined to be. 

What does this all mean and what is The End I'm speaking of, it's simple I'm done talking about what I wanna do, and I'm going to do it.  I already have a chapter and a half written for my book, and what I have planned for it I believe a lot of people will like it.  I'm done talking about Project Awesome, because over the year it has embodied me, and swallowed me whole.  I live, eat, breathe, and sleep Project Awesome and I couldn't be happier.  Without it I don't know where I would be.  It has helped me silence my dark self, and has brought out the best person  I know who I can be.  I almost didn't get to write this blog because of events that happened this weekend, but it helped me realize something in my moment of crisis.  I do not want the words Chuck E Cheese manager forever immortalized next to my name, I want the words "husband, father, friend, brother, son, and writer" immortalized in my name.  My whole life I've been known as the guy who works at McDonald's then became the Chuck E Cheese guy, well it's time to be known as that writer guy.  My words are weapons and I'm cocked, aimed, and ready to go to battle against my own fear of not succeeding.   

So to sum up everything in a nice little package this is the end of a big side of me, the side of me that is always dreaming, but never doing anything about them.  This is an awakening of the man I have decided to be, and the man I am destined to become.  This new year I'm making one resolution, one promise, to become the best version of myself in every aspect of my life: friendship, fatherhood, husbandhood, writer, fitness, and etc...  This week starts this new promise to myself, one I know you all will help me keep.  So thank you and I love you!!  And last but not least, AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!!!

Through the years

I promised this blog last week, and I knew what I wanted to say, but I wasn't sure how I wanted to say it.  But the important thing is to get it out there, because it coincides with the big one that will be coming on Dec. 21st, about the end.  No not the end of the blog, or the end of the world, but the end of completely different, and a huge promise I will be making.  But enough of that, and lets get to this one.

It's no secret that next year I turn 30, and the thing that scares me is that is half way to 60!  I've been looking back a lot on my past, and have come to a sad realization.  When you're younger you get every little milestone applauded and praised by your family, friends, teachers, etc.  We all had that paper that mom proudly displayed on the fridge and bragged to her friends about the 100 percent spelling test that her son got...and yes I can still spell paleontologist (without a spellcheck!) But was we get older we stop getting gold stars from others, and stop giving them to ourselves.  The really sad part is that we rely on others to do it, and if they don't acknowledge how awesome we did we get upset at them.  We have come to rely on others kudos that we forget the most important person who should be patting yourself on the back first, yourself.  That may sound conceited or egotistical, but its the truth.  Someone can tell you how awesome you are day in and day out, but if you at first don't believe it it does nothing.  You almost feel like they are mocking you, and you actually suck.  So in  a nutshell before you get pissed off at the world for not giving you a gold star, first give yourself the first gold star, and the ones who matter most in your life will also send gold stars your way.  You might be asking yourself; " Hey Dane, what are some gold star worthy things?"  The answer is simple the mini victories you accomplish on your way to your bigger goal. because if you don't celebrate the little victories, how are you gonna prepare for the big ones.

Also looking back at my life I truly understand my life is the result of the actions I take, and the ones I don't take, and also each year of my life has had an ongoing theme.  For instance my freshmen year could be defined as the "Worst luck with girls year!"  It all started that summer when the girl I liked dated all my friends, but me.  My first trip to the friend zone.  Then fast forward to Homecoming where I'm nominated to become Homecoming Prince (as a joke mind you), and make it all the way to the finals, but without a date.  And the girl I end up asking who was the girl I first ever had a crush on basically strung me along by saying maybe she'll go, and finally telling me she had a boyfriend all along.  I still remember the pain I felt that night not only from my heart being stepped on, but also from the dishwasher, because I decided to put dishes away immediately after they were washed and halfway through the drying cycle, when they air is near boiling.  My hands were as red as my eyes from crying so much that night.  My Sophomore year can be summed up as the year I found the video camera and began my love for being behind the camera and writing again.  My Junior year could be summed up with one word, "McDonald's", because that was my first job and I spent a lot of time working.  And my Senior year I'll just call my "Stupid Boy" year, because I always dated or tried to date girls who my friends hated, and didn't realize my friends weren't blinded by stupidity like I was, and saw the truth before I ever could.

After high school was the year of "love and truth", because I started dating my future wife, and the following year would be the "wedding" which we spent almost all of our free time planning our wedding.  After that came the "betrayed by the clown" year when I was moved to a smaller store to learn more and move up in less than a year, but instead they just kept me there and didn't teach me jack and I got angry and left, and went to the Cheese!  I could go year by year, but I just wanted to show you a pattern, and I bet if you analyzed your life right now, you would see a common theme in each year of your life.  I'm going to skip a few years though, and get to the last four years, and to the start of who I am today.  It is true when they say you have to hit rock bottom to truly appreciate the top, and I was in a dark hole a few years back, and I am not telling you why, let's just say every aspect of life was turned upside down, and it took a lot of reading and self finding to build the ladder I used to get out.  But by going though that dark time I use that to help others through there's so my pain was not in vain.  The year after that I shall call the diet year because I lost 15-20 lbs on the Flat Belly Diet, and have kept most of it off still.  I am super proud of the willpower I had that year.

From those two years came the workout year, and the start of Project Awesome which I know some of you have embraced and integrated into your life.  I had no idea that Project Awesome would change my life so much, and how I look at my life and others.  It makes me truly appreciate the now, and plan for the future.  Which brings us to this year which I have dubbed the "life coach" year, because I have done a lot of that this year, and I love every minute of it.  It doesn't matter if I'm writing this blog, helping a friend get over an ex, help people realize how beautiful they truly are, help best friends get back together, and a plethora of other things.  I look back at this last year and realize a lot has gone down between people I love and care deeply for, but also myself.  One of my friends called me an "inspiration for men to become", and the impact of that comment has resonated with me since.  It is what drives me each day to begin each day with the thought that this day is the start of something amazing, but it's up to you to make it happen.  I've always been a dreamer, but my biggest fear is that I'm to busy dreaming and I'll miss that moment where it's time to start doing and stop dreaming.  The biggest difference between you and the person who has your dream job, is very simple, the person who has your job did more than just dream.

Which brings me to 2013!  Next year I'm going to busy with doing what I do, but adding another title to long resume.  Writer!  I want to look back at the year 2013 when I'm 60 and say that is the year my writing career began, and it is my goal to make that happen,  I will still blog, but I'll dedicate most of my writing time to my novel.  If you want a little taste here ya go:  What happens when a man turns 30, gains super powers, finds out his birth parents are the worlds greatest superhero and super-villian, and that super hero's are real? I don't know but I can't wait to write it, look for Super Mid Life Crisis coming soon!!! And if there is enough outcry I will post excerpts from it on my blog if enough people want me to.  But that's not all!!! When I was younger I used to write poetry all the time, and my goal is to get back into doing it.  Some I will post on FB, and others I will post here exclusively!  They will be from the heart and I  hope that they impact you when you read them.

So in short, remember to award all your victories not just the big ones, and look out for a lot of writing in the coming year by your's truly!!!

Live to laugh at and love life,
Dane

Failure

First of all I have written and rewritten this blog a thousand times in my head.  The pieces started coming together over the last month, but no matter when I sat down to type it, the words never came out.  It could be because I was afraid of the consequences.  You might be thinking this only a blog and the words from a man's mind, but to me it's a lot more.  This is my globally published pep talk I give myself, other's have told me it helps them, but in all honesty those words I type are straight from my heart and barely filtered by my brain.  They are about as raw and real you will see me communicate...for now.  I have made promises to myself in this blog, and most I have kept, some I have forgotten, and some I re read to remind myself I thought that once, so why the hell have I stopped thinking it.  But here goes the blog I have been penning my whole life without realizing it......

I fear many things in my life, and one of them is clowns.  I get a lot of crap for fearing such happy things, but who else is always smiling in all his pictures, the devil, and so do clowns, coincidence I think not.  But I didn't struggle writing a whole blog on my fear of clowns, instead it's on my second and third biggest fears: never becoming the man I was born to be, and fear of failure.  I believe every person on this planet was born and put here with a plan, and to further prove it there are people who excel in life, and those who crash and burn, and those two groups of people have fascinated me all my life.  Just think for a second of a famous person, doesn't matter why they are famous, just think about them.  Got them in your mind, good, news flash they started out just like you and me.  They figured out what God intended them to do, and did it, well!  Athlete, inventor, scientist, politician, actor, writer...it doesn't matter!!!! Those are all gifts we have been given, and some choose to embrace these gifts, while others just dream of doing it.  I have been called  a dreamer many times in my life, and truth be told I have started to hate that word being associated with me.  Dreamer's don't do anything, they sit and dream about what they could be, and never actually do it.  I'm currently living some of the dream I have dreamt for a life years ago.  I am married to a beautiful wife who is my rock and my love. am a father to three wonderful (well not always) children, and I help others which is something I have always done since I can remember and I love doing.  But no where in my dream it told me to settle on doing something where I wasn't challenged.

     
      The world needs dreamers to think up great ideas, but without the doers of the world those ideas just remain ideas and never come into fruition.  I want my name to be synonymous with the word "doer" as it is with the word "dreamer" as of right now.  To the people who know me know two things, I love a challenge and I will always help you if you need it.  But the thing is I love challenging other people and helping others with advice, but I rarely, damn near never follow my own advice, or challenge myself.  I sit and play it safe, but I have come to realize that people who play it safe, don't succeed in anything.  People fail all the time, and it's the ones who get back up, dust themselves off, and learn from their mistakes are the ones who live life!  Not the ones who wait for a store to be built, and just wait in the shadows until your handed  the keys to what you settled for.  I'm so sick of being that guy, and it angers me that my own fear of failure has made me that guy.  The fear of failure is my own inner kryptonite and it cripples me into fear of not doing anything, because I might fail.  We all hate to fail and feel like that our best wasn't good enough, but I think the most worst feeling is the feeling of doing nothing.  For example, one of the hardest things a person has to do is tell the person who they like that they love them.  As soon as those words are said the bombshell has been dropped, and no matter what tv and movies tell us, those words do change lives, and there's no taking them back.  If I was afraid to tell my wife those words over 10 years ago, I wouldn't be writing this right now.  But I am a better man for taking a risk and getting over that fear.

     Now comes the heavy part I made a promise to myself that whatever I write in this blog will be promise the whole world can see me making.  So here goes a very important promise that I will have all of you read this help me fulfill.  I know for a fact that God didn't create me to have me settle on being a manager, because I know deep down I'm intended for more than that.  How do I know this because writing has always been a part of my life, even when I strayed far from it it's the one thing that has always come back to my life.  As well as helping people, giving out advice, and being the ears when people want to unload.  So I promise to myself to get over my fear of failure and to stop making excuses, and write!  I also promise  to never stop mentoring and or helping others.  One of my closest friends told me that my niceness is the strangest thing about me, and I asked her why do you say that?  She told me its because you do so much for others and don't ask for anything in return, and she asked me why.  The truth is I don't know, I just do.  I've tried being mean and I just can't do it.  So long story short ballsy moves used to not be my forte, but I'm making them my endgame now.  I promise I will write more and mentor and help others more, why because I believe those are the gifts God has given me to become the man who I was destined to be, and to stop being a dreamer, and start being a doer!