Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Heroes


Heroes
Wear a mask
Hiding their true identity
Protecting their friends and family
And themselves
Put on a cape
To find the strength
Get knocked down a hundred times
Standing up 101 times
Hiding their greatest fears
Even heroes know when to be scared

Constantly fighting the good fight
Cut them and they will bleed
Far from bulletproof
Hiding the scars from their inner battles
Wounds from the war
Haunted by the ghosts of the victims they were unable to save
Knees always buckling
From carrying the world on their shoulders
Saving the day after day, night and night
It's okay for heroes to cry

Villains walking around in real life
Most dangerous ones exist in our mind
Disguised as self doubt
Manifested in nightmares
Feeding on insecurities
Love is needed to survive
As much as oxygen and water
Superpowers coming from the soul
And deep within the heart
All heroes are human....

Sunday, May 31, 2015

Giggles Part 1

      Duncan walked the halls of the Shady Acres Sanitarium.  He learned they called it that versus an insane asylum so it could help the patients recover faster, but everyone there knew it was just a fancy word for, the nut house.  Duncan has been there for twenty years to this day.  Duncan was first admitted after his tenth birthday after his brother Timothy was taken away by Duncan's one and only friend, Giggles.
       Duncan rocked back and forth in his room being hugged by the strait jacket.  Reminding him of his mother's warm embrace during the hugs he used to get.  Duncan will never forget the last time his mother hugged him.  It was his eighteenth birthday, and she came in one last time to beg him to finally tell the truth about what happened to Timothy.  Duncan answered always the same answer, "Mom, it wasn't me.  It was Giggles.  Giggles took Timothy.  Why won't you believe me!".
       His mother kissed him on the forehead and said one final, "goodbye:, barely holding back tears from leaving her incurable son.  Her heart breaking one more time in her life from losing another son.  Duncan wasn't given any time to answer back which left the last thought in him mind of abandonment.  A thought that bred anger, loathing, and bitterness.  Not the forgiveness and love that he so desperately craved.  Through out the years the other patients caught wind of why Duncan was in there and all knew they should stay away.  You don't mess with a guy who killed his brother blaming it on an imaginary clown friend.  That is a whole new level of insane.
       So most of the days Duncan just sits all alone by himself rocking back and forth talking to the chair in front of him.  John one of the orderlies at the sanitarium took it upon himself to try to connect with Duncan.  He was only human so there was no reason to be afraid.    It was mid afternoon on a Monday when John sat in Giggles seat. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!  THAT'S GIGGLES SEAT!", Duncan screams at John.
       John fought back every urge to beat Duncan down for screaming at him and showing him such a lack of respect.  There was something deep within though holding back John's fists from becoming balled and launching towards Duncan.  It was his curiosity.  John wanted more than anything to hear the story of Giggles, and knew this might be his only chance.  "I'm sorry for sitting in Giggles seat Duncan.  Can you tell me who Giggles is?", John says in a calming voice.
        Duncan smiles.  He hasn't smiled since his tenth birthday really every smile after the day has been put in Shady Acres has been a medicated one, and not a natural one that had all the power over.  "He's my only friend and family", Duncan beams with joy.
         John noticed the instantaneous change in Duncan, but it didn't comfort him, it frightened him more than anything.  He would never admit that though.  He was a man on a mission.  A self decided one about finding out the truth.  "That's a funny name for a friend.  What does Giggles look like?  Can you draw me a picture Duncan,"  John almost said the word imaginary before the word friend, but he knew Duncan would then clam up and become silent once more.  Once again locking the mystery of Giggles deep within the only mind that knows he exists.
      Duncan looks around the room ,surveying if anyone is listening, or if this is a prank being played on him.  The last person that played a prank on him never did, because he disappeared that night and was never found.  "I can draw you a picture while I'm telling you the story of my best friend.", Duncan tells John.
       John thinks for a second how far down the rabbit hole he actually wants to go.  He once again lets his interest for the unknown shout louder than his brain.  Which was telling him to get the hell out of there.  "I can find you a piece of paper and some crayons probably.  No pencil or pen because they are sharp.  I hope you understand."
       Duncan nods, "Of course I understand.  Crayons are much safer for everyone around me.  John then gets up to go find some art supplies so he can finally have a visual of the monster that has haunted Duncan for so long.  John overhears Duncan talking to Giggles, "No you can't sit in the chair he will be back.  I don't know why he is talking to me.  Maybe he wants to be my friend."  John turns around expecting to see Duncan talking to the chair, but instead sees Duncan with is neck arched up talking as if someone very tall was standing next to the char he was sitting in.  A sight that sent shivers up his spine.  His gut warning him this was final last chance to run and never look back.
      John returns to find Duncan silent and not talking.  He thought that maybe he and Giggles had an argument and they are not talking to each other.  The second John thinks that thought he might as well lock himself up with all the other crazies, so he throws that stupid thought out of his mind.  John goes to hand the paper to Duncan and notices he has been crying.  "Are you ok Duncan?"
      Duncan picks up a black crayon and starts to draw an oval for a head,  "Giggles is mad at me for making a new friend.  He say's he is my only friend."
      John takes Duncan's hands both of them shaking in fear of angering his best friend Giggles.  John says comforting Duncan, "You tell Giggles I am your friend, and there is nothing he can do about it.  If he doesn't like that too bad!  Now please tell me your story buddy."
      Duncan looks up above John and puts his head back down to his drawing.  He looks up again once again over John's head and then back to his drawing.  This time drawing in bigger details.  Duncan looked up once more, and this time John turned around to see if he could see what Duncan was drawing but there was nothing.  Duncan then started his story, "It was my tenth birthday party when I met Giggles."

      Duncan could never believe he found the perfect hiding spot for Hide, and Go Seek.  It was Timothy's idea to play a giant game of it in the woods behind their house for Duncan's birthday party even though their parents forbid them to go in there in fear of them getting lost.  Duncan disobeyed all orders of his parents though as most ten year old boys do and found a house deep in the woods.  It looked like no lived there so it would be a perfect spot to hide and never be found Duncan thought to himself.  
      Duncan goes into the house, and immediately the smell of a dead rotting house assaults his nose.  He ignores the stench because he knew he could smell a stinky house for a few minutes if it meant finally being crowned Hide, and Go Seek Champion.  He finds the master bedroom of the house and spots a closet door in the back of the room.  He goes to the door and finds it empty and with enough room to sprall out and rest while he waits to emerge as the winner of their game.  
     Timothy did as most brothers and siblings do when playing games.  They cheat.  He watched Duncan go into that house and decided to play the ultimate prank on his brother.  Timothy convinced all his brothers friends not to go find him.  Some were reluctant at first, but he just bribed them with candy and they caved like most children do when sugar is brought into the situation.  Leaving Duncan in the house in the woods all alone for hours.
       After what felt like eternity to Duncan he started to worry that maybe he found too good of hiding spot for their game.  Starting to panic his asthma kicks in and begins to have trouble breathing.  Little gasps of air is all he could get in and not a healthy amount of oxygen.  His heart beating faster and faster as the thoughts of never being found were finally realized.  Then his ears started to play tricks on him.  First he heard the slow winding of  a toy.  Next the chattering of a teeth moving toward the closet he was hiding in.  Followed by a faint silly laughter.
      Duncan tried desperately to breathe quieter and quieter and not to make a sound, so whoever or whatever was out there wouldn't know he was in here.  Duncan wished there was a small hole he could peek out of to see what was in the room waiting for him, but he knew there wasn't much light.  For the sunlight that used to creep under the door opening stopped around thirty minutes ago which meant one thing.  It was night time.  
        "Ollie Ollie Oxenfree!", comes from within the room with a silly sing song voice.  Followed by a, "And a Happy Birthday Duncan!"
          Duncan leaped up thinking his brother finally found him.  Completely ignoring the fact that he was disguising his voice just to scare him even more.   Duncan rips open the door expecting to see Timothy standing there with the grin he always has on after he pulls a prank, but he was not there.  There was only what seemed to be two floating candles lit on a piece of a cake in a pitch black room.  The silly sing song voice then came back into the room, "Happy Birthday to you.  Happy Birthday to you.  Happy Birthday dear Duncan.  Happy Birthday to you!".  Duncan stood frozen in fear unable to retreat back to the closet even if he knew it would do him no good.  "Aren't you going to blow the candles out and make a wish", the silly voice asks. 
           "Who are you", Duncan barely stammers out.
          The silly voice happy obliges with answering, "I'm your new best friend, Giggles.  I came here to come get you because all your other so called friends and brothers just left you out here.  They all thought it would be funny if they left you out here, but I thought it was mean so I came here to find you."
         Duncan finally finds his bravery.  Not wanting to believe a word Giggles has said.  "Is that true Giggles", he asks.  
          Giggles smiles.  Duncan catches a small glimpse of a red lipsticked smile in the flicker of the candles still burning.  Giggles answers, "Sure is.  Watched it myself.  Now can you please blow your candles out and make a wish.  So I don't burn myself."
         Duncan looks around the room and sees no other light coming from anywhere else.  He was already afraid of the dark, but being in the dark with a Giggles makes me pee his pants just at the thought of it.  He attempts to trick his new friend, "But if I blow the candles out then there will be no light anymore.  And I'm afraid of the dark."
         Giggles laughs a comforting laugh, "I know that.  You want to know why because I'm your best friend remember!  I have an idea."  Giggles pulls out the lighter he used to light the candles and flicks it on as well.  Duncan then sees a little bit more of Giggles and notices he is wearing white gloves with tiny red stains.  "Now will you make a wish?"  
         Duncan takes a deep breath and blows out his candles.  "YAY!  Now you can open your present!", Giggles squeals.  Giggles hands Duncan a box and Duncan does what all kids do and rips open the package without a second thought.  Duncan notices more and more light coming into the room in the process of opening his present.  He looked down in his open box and realized why it was flashlight that was left on.  Giggles releases the switch on the lighter leaving the only light in the room being the flashlight.  
       Duncan picks up the flashlight and directs in the direction of Giggles voice revealing his strange savior.  Giggles was about six foot tall, bright red afro for hair, black and white face makeup, a giant red nose, and a lipsticked smile plastered on his face.  Duncan moved the flashlight over a little and saw him holding three balloons, and his right hand was out to reach for Duncan.  "Hello best friend!  Now I bet you wished you could go home didn't you!", Giggles squeaks out with his silly voice with his grin getting bigger and bigger.
         Duncan finally cracks a smile, followed by a short burst of tears, "YES!  I want to go home and hug my Mom and Dad.  But most important get my mean brother in big, BIG trouble!"
        Giggles eyes widen, and he honks his nose.  His grin growing even bigger as if somehow his mouth was growing more and more the longer he smiled.  "I'll get you home!  Why because it's what best friends do!  And as for your brother don't worry about him.  It's my job as your best friend to show him that you shouldn't be messed with.

                                                               TO BE CONTINUED 

Sunday, May 24, 2015

Autopilot




Autopilot

Flying, stuck on this plane
Haunted by bullshit and underlying pain
Swallowing excuse after excuse 
Never-ending interpersonal abuse
Stare out the window capturing every detail of each cloud
Alone on this plane, no one else is around
Hearing my own voice over the Captain's speaker
Making a reality of my greatest fear
He's grown sick of my same #$@ different day
Adapting that mantra and accepting it as a mentality 
Expressing concern at a time we had dreams
Now I've given up, comfortable with just settling, it seems
Pissed off that all I do is #@$% around when given time
When I used to write stories and thoughts with words that rhyme
The door opens, watch myself grab a parachute and bail
Leaving me to burn in my own personal hell
Now my dreams have left I feel alone
All the blame is mine to own
Alone on this plane now I just sit there
Wondering if when the plane crashes will anyone care
I jump up ignoring the fasten your seat belt sign
Tired of hearing myself BS and whine
Running full speed at the locked pilot door
In the cockpit is my demons, my fears, and we are all going to war
I make it in and the window shows images of my life
Challenges, failures, success, children, family, friends, my beautiful wife
Pick up the mic and radio the tower
Praying I have the knowledge to get me out of this, the will power
Afraid there would be no voice on the other end
Instead the plane was filled with voices from family and every friend
All saying the same things
I NEVER needed a plane to fly, I was born with wings
Taking a moment I let that sink in
Feeling the healing within starting to begin
Taking a running start and smashing through the window
Proving to myself that I am more than a man, I am my own hero
Safely flying to the ground
Hugging my family and friends saying I love you all without making a sound
Looking up at the sky watching my autopiloted plane burst into flame
Realizing the truth after that journey I will never be the same

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Writers block

Writer's Block

Black as night
Engulfed in silence
Headphones in 
Lyrics used to inspire words
Drums always started the flow of ink
Now there is nothing
Demons have finally shut up
Angels left long ago
No longer fighting with each other
Lifelong battle between the two is done
Ammo for so many stories
Basis of almost all poems 
Roots of all my ideas are now gone
Pick up a pen
Not a word is written
Doodles are made 
Letters not legible
Thoughts are now just straight and curved scratches
Blue and black nonsensical scars
On a blank white paper skin
Making sense to no one 
Not even myself
This has worked in the past
Poem after poem 
Story after story
Idea after idea
Helped me out of this rut
Now all I have is a desert of ideas
Barren thoughts
Mirages with no substance
Haunting my mind
Teasing the future
Books and books of great ideas
Just sitting on my desk
Completely afraid to touch them
Success scaring me as much as failure
Praying this works one more time
I was born to do this
Ink is in my blood
And I must get rid of this 
writer's block...  

Monday, May 4, 2015

May the force be with you


May the Force be with you

Years ago an idea came from a bearded man
With a billion dollar idea and a mullti year plan
Giving us a tale of about a galaxy long, long time ago
Creating characters we all love and we know
It was a story about a lost boy on a farm
A wise old man who kept him from harm
Posing a life long question of who actually shot first
When Han Solo and Greedo met in space bar to cure their thirst
Two droids who will always be best friends
Warning us is we don't let the wookie win we all now how it ends
Bringing us a robot voiced villain dressed all in black
Killing nameless crew members with a force choke attack
Influencing years of girls costumes of being a cinnamon roll hair bunned princess
Encouraging us all at least once to use the force to get out of a mess
In other movies we find even more characters we love with our heart
There are so many to name I'm not sure where to start
Yoda the green alien who taught us there is no try 
Teaching a very important life lesson to the Skywalker guy
Or maybe it was the bounty hunter who was gunning for Solo's head
The giant sloth named Jabba who wanted the captain of the falcon dead
Cuddly ewoks who looked like jungle clothed teddy bears
One eyed Dianoga's who live in the Death Star in it's trash lairs 
But not all characters were great sad to admit there are few that still stinks
Let us never forget Misa Jar Jar Binks
Deep down its a movie about the good and bad we all battle with
Our inner Jedi's conquering the evil Sith
So pick up a light saber red, purple, or blue
And may the force always be with you

Monday, April 20, 2015

Two poems....

I thought I would post two poems here for the price of one.  One I wrote a few weeks ago and just got down to posting in hand written form, and the other just came to me literally out of the blue!





Knockout

When life hits, it hits hard
Making us bleed, leaving scar after scar
Kicking us and punching us when we are down
Begging us to give up while we lay on the ground
Left hook. Right hook. Uppercut its all the same
As the blood flows we look who to blame
Becoming stronger we make it through the pain
Lessons in life is what we gain
Aches and thoughts run through the mind at night
Mentally preparing ourselves for the next fight

Sunday, April 5, 2015

Hope


Hope

Stars we wish on in the darkness
That hug we hold on for a few seconds longer
Hands we squeeze a little harder 
Prayers we say silently
Also ones we yell out at the top of our lungs
Little voices that scream in our head to get up 
When all we want to do is give up
Undying strength inside
Leaning on friends and family
Knowing that any battle can be won 
Any enemy can be defeated 
As long as we all 
And always have
Hope...

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Mystery Story Contest!

I wrote this in about an hour the other day.  It was for a contest but I never turned it in.  One because I never got the chance to type it up, and two I feel the ending was rushed.  Due to the word limit I was kept to.  I thought I would post it here though just so it doesn't feel like I wasted time writing a short story, and who knows it might become something more somewhere else down the road...

His Mistress

The phone rang at three in the morning.  Detective Gideon hated when it rang then, because it meant that another body was found.  Gideon was tempted to throw his phone at the wall sending his fourth phone to the same fate as the last three he had.  He didn't because he could barely afford the one he had and had no money to replace it.  "What", he grumbles into the phone.
    The voice on the other end answers back, "Aren't you a ray of sunshine.  You are wanted at the Galaxy Hotel."
    Gideon answers with a, "Fine", and hangs up.  Out of habit he turns to the other side of the bed to wake up his non-existent wife to tell her he was going out on duty again, but that side of the bed has been cold for months now.  She couldn't handle being married to a Detective.  A man who always put everyone else in front of her, she joked with him many times that his job was his Mistress.  He didn't disagree.  The divorce wasn't messy though because luckily they didn't bring any kids into their lives, and all the stuff around the house he didn't want anyways.  He only wanted their dog Lucky, and she took him as well.
     Gideon maneuvers through his pitch black small apartment wearing nothing but his underwear.  Donna his ex-wife hated when he didn't wear pants around their house, so there was one plus side to her being gone.  He turns the coffee on, and heads back into his room to get dressed.  It doesn't take long for Gideon to get dressed since it was routine getting dressed at all hours of the night.  He laces up his boots and looks once again at the empty part of his bed.  Rage taking over.  Lack of sleep for years from being on the force.  And that cold spot in his bed where Donna used to sleep.  Gideon than launches his phone at the wall.  Sending wire and plastic flying everywhere.  I guess he will have to get number five in the morning.

    It took thirty minutes to drive to the hotel, which used to be a city landmark, but now sadly a home for many of the homeless when the streets got to cold.  Gideon thought they must have found another John Doe who was going to sit in the morgue, nameless, and with no justice served because no cared for the forgotten Grandfather or Uncle anymore.
     Gideon walks through the doors he used to love walking through of the hotel.  The truth is this place has a special place in his heart, because this Hotel was the destination of many romantic getaways and rendezvous for Donna and him.  It's where they first had their first dinner which led to their first kiss in the hotel's quaint cafe.  Escaped the hustle and bustle of everyday life even it was just for one day.  He also proposed to her in the hotel lobby, and they spent their first night as husband and wife in the honeymoon suite on the top floor of the historic building.  Gideon couldn't help but be haunted by the ghosts of good memories, and terrorized by the nightmare he was now living in.  Being alone.
     Gideon walks into the lobby and finds a bloody wedding dress, but no body contained within.  The white lace now stained permanently by blood, bleeding into the color turning the white into a more pale pink.  It didn't matter the color though because Gideon recognized that dress, it was Donna's.  He remembered taking it off of her and throwing it on the ground in this same hotel.  He couldn't help but fight the smile that formed as he remembered the good memory of his nude wife getting off the bed and picking the dress up, and draping it on a chair instead.  He remembers her words exactly as if she was there speaking to him, " I don't want it to get ruined.  I want to be able to preserve this moment for ever and never tarnish the beauty of the day, that will and forever always be our day."
      A uniformed officer named Duncan sneaks up behind Gideon, "Any ideas Detective.  Is it still a murder without a body?"
      Gideon was knocked out of his fantasy and saw the grim reality he was in again.  Gideon didn't want to believe she was gone.  Yes he hated her for leaving him, but he still and always would love her.  Gideon ignored the officer question and looked around the scene for anything else.  Maybe more women got married in that same dress design.  He always heard wedding dresses were one of a kind, but he always thought that was just a saying to justify the price gouging that happens on all wedding dresses.  Then he saw Donna's wedding  ring.  It hung on a blood knife.  A knife being held by a stuffed tiger.  The same tiger he bought her on their first date as Husband and Wife when they went to the zoo on their honeymoon in New York.  The same knife Donna gave him on their wedding anniversary.  He then knew without a shadow of a doubt that this was Donna's wedding dress.
       Gideon breaking all rules of protocol grabs the tiger and the knife clangs to the ground.  Reaches down and grabs his dead wife's wedding ring, and staring at the tiger as if it was laughing at him.   Gideon had proposed with that same tiger in the same spot, and now he standing in that same spot with the same tiger where his wife's life ended.  Confused and saddened why someone would murder Donna, and here of all spots.  He sat there going through his head thinking about how many people knew of the significance of this spot for them.  The sad truth was everyone knew it was special.
      Detective April finally made it onto the scene also expecting another homeless murder that same thought as Gideon.  The only difference is she wasn't wowed by the memories of this historic building so she was able to soak in all the details and find pieces of the puzzle that Gideon just walked over.  In the door way she two of the same boot prints going into the hotel as well as one set of heel prints, but only one set of boot prints leaving.  April always knew that was a bad sign for whoever was wearing the heels.
     April followed the bootprints to the grieving Gideon, and saw him deep in thought sobbing quietly, and she took that for extreme concentration so decided not to bother him with a meaningless, "Hello".  She took in all the evidence that was staring at her in the face that screamed murder, but still there was no body.  She noticed the bootprints and one stopped, and there was another set that went up the stairs.  She followed the dirty breadcumbs up as would any good detective.
     She followed them all the way to the top of the floor, out of breath, wishing she took the elevator up now.  She always wanted to stay at the hotel before it shut down, but she never got very serious with anyone to give it a chance.  She always took the other detective's advice and gave up on dating and or trying to settle down with a special someone.  It never worked out they always told her.  Divorces and unhappy marriages always seemed to follow along with the title detective in her unit, and she was perfectly fine not being another staggering statistic in an already high number.  She was married to dead bodies and justice and had no time for anyone else.  The bootprints led her all the way down to the hall to the honeymoon suite.
     April opens the door slowly expecting to find the missing body lying naked and dead on the bed, but found only a note.  A confession note.  She picks it up and reads it, "I killed Donna. Signed, G."  April thought about radioing down, but didn't want to tip off Gideon.  She grabs the note and flies down the flights of stairs.  April had to be sure before she charged the detective with murder of his ex-wife Donna.
    She slows down on the last set of stairs and casually walks up behind Gideon.  He still not saying a word as if the entire world around him was non-existent and it was only him and his wife's dress that only existed in this world now.  April looks down at the boot prints and matches the ones going up the stairs, and the ones that stopped at the body were the same.  Gideon's boot print.  Same size and same tread.  She handed the uniformed cop the note that confessed his heinous act.  Maybe he did it in a drunken rage, and can't remember that he did, but the truth was he still did it.  All the evidence pointed to it.
      She pulls her gun, "Detective Gideon put your hands on your head where I can see them!  You are under arrest for the murder of Donna Johnson..."
      Gideon didn't hear the anymore words, and knew he didn't want to live in a world without Donna, even if they weren't together.  He reached for his gun, and April had no other choice but to fire killing the detective.  His body falling on the last remains of his failed marriage.
 
      Donna could hear the gunshot from her hiding spot in the alley.  She watched as April the detective who always took her Gideon away walked in not knowing she going to be part of a planned out execution.  Donna knew Gideon never slept with her, but he might as well as all the time they spent together.  Donna knew she planted everything perfectly, and only had one question in her mind.  Did the shot come from April or did her husband take the cowardly way out and kill himself?  Donna had this night planned for weeks.  The first step was the staged break in at her house where she was "robbed" of everything she has every owned.  Her wedding dress, rings, heirlooms of her life, and all the things Gideon left behind in hopes of reconciliation.  Even though she knew there was no chance in hell that would happen.  All the signs would point to him killing her, but there was no body.
       She knew that Gideon couldn't live in a world where he couldn't have her and his mistress.  Crime itself. Even if he was cleared of murdering her they would surely take away his badge.  She thought it was very fitting that his mistress was the one that ended up killing him in the long run, since it killed their marriage years ago as well.  She walks to her car and pats Lucky on the head, "It's just us now Sweetheart."
     Tomorrow the news will spread saying how a detective murdered his ex-wife, and she will miraculously show her face to the world, confusing the entire world how a dead woman can still be alive.  That it was some other poor woman who was killed by the mysterious, G, and the detectives and officers on site killed the wrong guy.  April would end up turning in her badge as well.  Two birds with one bullet.  Gideon will receive a hero's funeral, and she will play the role of the grieving widow, and finally life happily ever after.
      

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Joker


Knock, knock wanna hear a joke
Open the door so your throat I can choke
Hands wrapped around the throat for a good grip
So your life and soul I can rip
Tears start to form in your near dead eyes
Smiling as the rest of you dies
The last thing you see is my devilish grin
I'm Hell's personal clownish demon

Taking away lives in so many ways
I will show Gotham its end of days
Calling the Bat my best friend
It is my destiny to bring his life to an end
Killed so many people I have forgotten every name
Doesn't matter to me all corpses look the same
Thinking maybe I'll unleash Joker gas on the city
And create an entire city that looks like me

Walking around town with a painted on face
Robbing banks and wreaking havoc with a touch of grace
Killing is easy when you have no preferred weapon
Using my hands, knifes, acid flower, or my gun
The knight in black is the one who made me
Our lives were meant to cross it was written as destiny
More monster or devil, no longer a man
Do I really look like a guy with a plan....

Saturday, January 31, 2015

Final Present

Here's the short story I submitted for a contest but I didn't win.  So I thought I would finally share it for the everyone else to read...

Final Present

It's been about three years since my older brother, Scott, died.  It was two weeks before Christmas, and I still cringe at any brief whisper of a carol.  As a family we avoid the stores, and try to stay away from where any people gather for the month of December.   Its especially hard on my parents this time of the year.  We haven't celebrated the last three years.  It just didn't feel right my parents told me.  They couldn't bare seeing less presents under the tree, or hanging up one less stocking on the fireplace, but they promised me this year we would try.
It was only my brother and I when we died playing on the ice.  It was a typical day on the coldest day of winter, and we were stuck inside staying warm.  Doing what brothers do fight, and our mother doing what mother's do, keeping their sons from killing each other.  My mother's last words to my brother were here screaming at him to get his coat on, and go play outside.  We knew mom was mad because we watched a vein her head boil to a burst during her tirade.  Scott and I got dressed faster than we ever had in our lives, as if our lives depended on it, and went out to play in the snow.
The ground was covered with a blanket of freshly fallen snow, and the snowflakes hit our cheek and our tounges while we were out playing.  So innocent.  We ran down to the duck pond and saw it was frozen over.  Our father had always warned us not to play on the ice, but we were kids then, and we did what kids always do.  Disobeyed.  We both ran out on the ice laughing, and shoving each other.  Having such a good time, but not noticing the crack that was starting in the ice.  Then the shoving got harder and harder, and the playing quickly turned violent.  Our yelling at each other kept the cracking of the pond a mystery to both of us.
Growing up as the little brother there was no place colder than my big brother's shadow.  He was always stronger, smarter, faster, and got the best toys out of either of us.   Not that day though.  I was stronger for some reason, and I pushed him filled with jealous rage.  I first pushed him, and the ice took over sliding him into the hole that no one saw, until it was too late.
I watched in horror as my brother fell into the water.  Panicking not knowing how to get out of his icy death.  I didn't know what to do either I just froze.  Unable to scream, and unable to move.  Time moved in slow motion, but my brother's death was fast.  Adrenaline finally woke me out of my daze and I ran home to get my parents, but it was too late.
Around October I begged my parents to have Christmas again.  I wanted our lives to go back to somewhat normal, and it was a fight.  But being the only son now, I won.  They put me in charge of getting all the decorations up, and the tree down.  All of the Christmas stuff was kept in the attic next to Scott's boxes.  Boxes that contained everything that was in Scott's room.  It only took a year to clean out his room, and as soon as it was, Scott's room was locked, forever.  I have heard of families keeping a child's room exactly the way it was when they  run away or worse.  When they can't find the body and there is still that tiny shred of hope that they are still okay, but  we all saw Scott's body.  We all knew there was no hope he was coming back.  
I walked around the attic and found the Christmas boxes.  Filled with tangled lights, broken ornaments, our dead plastic tree, and the tub of wrapping paper.  All being guarded by our old rocking horse that Scott and I played on for hours.  Silently guarding Scott's belongings and the Christmas boxes, rocking back and forth.  Even there was no wind or no where for a draft to come in.  Creaking back and forth on the deadening wood floor making an awful sound that makes me second guess my decision.  I hold my hand out and touch the rocking horse softly as if I'm afraid it will come to life and bite me.  It stops dead in its tracks.  No more rocking.  No more creaking.
I grab the horse and move him out of the way so it is easier to get to the Christmas collection.  I sneeze from the dust as I throw the bag of tree parts out of the way.  I listen as I hear a few glass ornaments break as I throw the box marked fragile, trying desperately to be quick as possible, and leave this creepy area where time has stood still the last three years.  An attic that has not seen a single soul for years.  I turn to see if there is anymore containers I need to grab when I spot a very strange thing.  A Christmas present still wrapped.  A wrapped box with a bright green paper with Christmas trees plastered all over it and with a big red bow on top.  With the the gift tag, To William, Love Scott.  With the from crossed out and Scott writing love over the top of the word.
My emotions get the best of me.  This was the last present my late brother will ever give me.  A part of me wants to throw it away, but the tears that start flowing from my eyes would never allow that to happen.  I rip open the wrapping paper revealing a box, this is my last chance to put this away, and forget this has ever happened.  I don't listen to my gut, and open the box revealing a jack in the box.
One final joke from my brother from his grave.  I wasn't that young when he died, but Scott always treated me like a baby.  He always got me baby toys for my birthday and Christmas just to show that he was, and will always be the big brother to me.  I take it out and swallow every little painful detail.  The bright red colored box with yellow alphabet letters painted on the side.  The rusted crank on the side from being forgotten for so many years.  Never played with.  Warped from the coldness in the attic.  The dead cold.
I turn the crank, but no music is playing.  Leave it to my brother to give me a broken toy for Christmas.  I hum the words to "Pop Goes The Weasel" in my head, just so it feels right to even playing with a jack in the box at my age.   Slowly turning the crank, my hums barely covering the turning of the rusty gears, and the grinding of the metal on metal.  I had to know what was inside. What was trapped in there to scare me, because jack in the boxes always scared me, and Scott knew that.  I turn the crank waiting for it to explode.  Nothing jumps out at the end.  No music.  Nothing but a broken toy.  I put it down and start to walk away.
First I hear the familiar scraping of the metal from the toy while being cranked.  Then the music kicks in.  The slowest rendition of "Pop Goes The Weasel" starts to haunt my ears.  Chilling me to the bone.  I swear when I turned the crank there was no music, and there was no other soul up here with me.  I turn around and see the jack in the box has been given a life of its own.  The crank slowly turning, and I pray that my eyes are deceiving me.  I back slowly away towards the attic door.  The door slams violently in front of me.  Trapping me.
The rocking horse comes back to life.  The mixture of the jack in the box music and the vicious galloping of the wooden horse on the creaking wooden floors brings me tears.  Then the single light bulb that dares to bring its brightness to the attic bursts.  Throwing glass in every direction, cutting me on the cheek, and proving that this nightmare was my reality.  The attic is now swallowed into darkness with no speck of light given access in.  I close my eyes praying it for it to stop.  Then the music stops.  The galloping stops.  Then I head the lid pop open.
All of a sudden I felt snow falling on my skin.  Gone was the creepy cold of the attic, and was replaced with the sheer winter winds, and then I realize I'm back at the day.  The day where I killed my brother and no one found out.  Back out on that same ice watching myself kill my brother again.  Watched myself push my brother to his icy grave hoping it was half as cold as the shadow I was so tired of living in.  Not fighting the smile that escaped my lips.  A smile that meant I finally beat him at something.  Life.
"Took you long enough", Scott says behind me.  I turn around and see his blue stained skin.  Ice permanently frozen to his lips, and his dead lifeless eyes.  I am frozen from fear once again.  How is this happening.  Scott pushes me harder than I pushed him, and once again the ice takes over.  Taking me to my own icy grave.  A grave that is much colder than his shadow ever was.  The cold hits me instantly taking my breath away.  I go under the water completely forgetting every instinct to stay calm, and survive.  I go under the water and the ice freezes my throat instantly.  Choking out any amount of breath I had left in my lungs.  Using my last amount of life I have in me to bang on the ice.  Trying to break away from my icy death sentence, while my brother just looks at me and smiles.
I am no longer in the snow.  I am back home.  I look down and see my lifeless body looking the same as Scott's did three years ago.  The same blue stained skin.  The icy lips.  Dead lifeless eyes.  I watch as my parents come screaming up the stairs.  My mother cradling me in her arms. crying over me.  Praying that her tears will warm my body some how and bring me back to life.  She has already lost one son she can't handle the loss of another.  I look up and see my brother staring down at me and our parents.  Without saying a word.  Emotionless.  He knows what he had to do, and he fells bad about it, but he believed it had to be done if he ever wanted to rest in peace.  With me living with a lie Scott knew he would never rest until he got his revenge.
I look up at my brother and watch as he disappears back into the darkness of the attic.  His own prison and safe haven at the same time.  He had no place in heaven now, and would forever be a spirit lost amongst the world of the living.  Watching over our parents because he knew I no longer could.  I tried to scream at him sorry, but he wouldn't hear it.  I screamed so loud I didn't hear what came up behind me.  I felt them though.  The claws of the devil.  Taking me finally to Hell.  A gift from my brother.  His final present to me.  

 

Saturday, January 24, 2015

Husky Heaven

Here's a story that I was writing for a short story contest.  The word count is over and never got a chance to skim it down even more, so I thought I would post it here instead.  Hope you enjoy.


Yay, it's Monday said no person ever.  I can say that though because I'm not a person, I'm a dog.  My name's Koda and I'm a quarter husky, a quarter Labrador, and half Ninja according to my master.  Since the moment I work up I was beyond excited, because not only was there snow on the ground, but it was also Monday, treat day!  
     My master took the little masters to school about an hour ago, but it feels like ages to me, since dogs age faster than humans.  I lay down anxiously on the bench looking out the window waiting for him to return.  I hear the familiar guitars, drums, and screaming blaring from his stereo as soon as he pulls on the street that houses our home.  I head towards the door with giddy enthusiasm and puppy dog eyes.  My master is a sucker for those.
     As soon as he's in the door I jump up and give him a hug, "I love you too Koda!', my master says.  "Do you know what day it is?", he asks.  My tail wags excitedly and my tongue starts to pant at the thought of a walk, a car ride, and a treat all in the same hour.  My master throws on gloves and a second coat on top of his sweatshirt.  I realized he might be a big baby since I walk around naked, and I'm not cold.  We are finally out the door, and both of our tongues are now out catching snowflakes as they fall.  I taught him that trick, and to think they say you can't teach an old master new tricks.  
     The cold breeze hits our faces but we don't care, this is our time.  Our time when it's just a dog and his master.  Other dogs bark from the window full of jealousy.  Upset that their masters won't take them for walks in the snowy cold as well.  I walk with my head high, and proud.  Squirrels run across the sidewalk.  My ears perk up and pull my poor master towards my new friends, but my master is too slow and they escape up a tree.  Laughing and mocking both of from the safety of their tree they have claimed as their own. They shake the branches of the tree to make snow fall on the both of us.  One of these days I will get them.
     After about a half an hour I'm done pulling my master around our neighborhood.  Making any white snow I see, turn yellow with my big dog signature.  We make it back to the house. and I sit and wait for my master to open his car door so I can jump in.  I have him trained well.  I sit in the back, and then in the front.  Then back in the back again, then back up front.  Setting off the seat-belt sensor every other time slowly driving my master nuts.  He finally reaches over and just buckles the seat-belt to shut off the annoying dinging that goes on every time I jump up front.  
      I see the joyous sight of the blue and white building, and start to bark.  At least I think it's blue and white since it's all a dull colored gray to me, with dogs being color blind.  He gets his Carmelizer, and I get not one, not two, but three doggie treats!  See everyone loves me!  We make it back home, and head inside.  I lay back down on my bench, and my master heads up to get ready for work.  I close my eyes dreaming of next Monday.  Silently praying to the husky snow gods that they will bring even more snow through out the week, and make everyday when we go walking more and more of a husky heaven!