2014!

I was going to post this on New Year's Eve but I need to get this all of my chest before I explode.  To say this year opened my eyes would be an understatement.  I now see the world in a whole new light, some people have shown their true colors, I've pissed off people without having any intention of doing so, and I have grown a lot in only a year.  But most importantly the pizza blood that was once in my veins has now been replaced with ink, and to be honest I couldn't be happier.  If you would tell me last year a year from now that I would have 12 chapters written for a book, and fifty poems that I have shared which was always a problem for me in the past, and people actually liked them, I would tell you that you are off your fricking rocker!  I am in a place right now where my mind is always in writer mode whether it be at work, at the gym, lying in bed, reading to first graders trying not to fall asleep, or actually writing.  And in the year 2014 I swear to you there will be a facebook status that reads, "So I wrote a book!", and if there isn't I will drink Starbucks for a month.
   
Now onto to the changes I'm making in 2014.  I dink around a lot, too much, and spend way to much time on things that don't do anything for me in general.  Well I'm done with it.  I'm ending this year at 205 pounds which is 10 pounds heavier than I was last year, but with less body fat, so I'm ok with that!  In fact I'm ecstatic with that!  But next year I'm refocusing on me and things that matter the most.  My family, my writing, my friends that care about me, stop worrying about the assholes of the world, and myself in general.  Being a father I have seen how fast kids grow up, and I don't want to miss a moment of it.  You need to cherish every moment you have with them, because right now they want you to hang with them, sooner or later you will no longer be the cool dad, and I realize that.  So I'm going to soak in that title as much as possible as I can.  Now onto the friends.  This might piss some people off but I'm tired of sitting silence anymore. If you contact me just if you need something, please delete me from your contacts!  I'm done wasting hellos without any responses.  People get busy I get that, but theres always time to send a quick hey to a friend, you never know they might need that little bright spot in there day.  They might be thinking to themselves that maybe I am invisible, and then you get a quick hey whats up, and you then realize that people do notice you in this world.  Well I'm done being the guy who sends out lighthouse hellos, because somedays there's no hey back, until something is needed.  Am I angry yes, am I angry at people, no.  I'm angry at myself for not stopping after the tenth no answer, but I'm done being angry with myself, and concentrating my anger to focus instead.

Focus on what you may ask, or who knows you might of stopped reading that last paragraph, thought to yourself, F this guy!  And deleted me from Facebook and so forth.  If that's the case I"m a little sorry, but keeping all this inside was poisoning more than I ever knew until lately.  From now on all the wasted time I took trying to talk to shadows will be now be focused on writing and the gym.  I will go to the gym every day for at least an hour, but I'm done posting it on Facebook.  In fact I'm done flooding everyone's facebook feeds, because it takes up way to much time.  I will still post the occasional poem, or insightful thoughts, but for the most part I will be silent.  I spend way to much time on there and if I want to post that status about my book being done, this must be done.  No more excuses, no more distractions, just the light at the end of the tunnel is all I see.  And who I see there is everyone who has been rooting for me, and some I didn't know I had until lately.  And I can't let those people down!

It's Time

Fall or fly.

Live not die.

Done aiming low, I'm shooting high.

Laugh and smile at the world, no longer cry.

Dreams brighter than the sun in the sky.

Prying open each eye.

Now I see my true destiny.

The most honest me I can be.

From now on it's me being me.

No longer standing still like a dead tree.

Buzzing around the world like a free bee.

The light at the tunnel is all I can see.

My future is an unexplored as the sea.

I'm kicking down the door, screw trying to find the key.

The beast is let out of the cage.

Writing with the perfect combination of love and rage.

Have to get the words from the mind to the page.

Speaking with no fear on a giant stage.

People listen from every range of age.

My skin and heart breaks the metal on the gage.

Counting down the days till I can rest on the plage.

Its to early to hear angels sing.

But it is ok if they give me a wing.

I already found my love and gave her a ring.

Spent way to much of life being a ding.

Tired of being a pawn in life I must become a king.

Finally found the balls to take the bat and swing.

My own brand of whoop ass in the only thing I will bring.

I'm no longer a writer part-time.

Stole my fate back like a grand larceney crime.

Done being silent like an unpaid, untalented mime.

Being stuck in this nasty smelling slime.

I see that mountain, I grab my gear and climb,

I'm not going to waste anymore of my prime.

It's about F*ing time!

So Much More....

So Much More....

Christmas means so many things.

To so many different people.

It is the time of the year when our hearts are filled with love.

We put our differences aside and our enemies become our peers for a moment.

There is a magic in the air that the only way it can be described is magic.

It is all these things and so much more...

The stores start stocking for this special time as soon as Halloween is over.

We complain about the timing, and yet we still buy it.

It creeps up earlier and earlier each year.

We all get upset about it, but deep down we don't mind.

The children dog ear all their toys in every toy catalog.

Making Santa's lists that change day by day.

Starting in September you can tell your kids five magical words.

"Put it on Santa's list.", and chances are they will forget.

It is all these things and so much more....

Its the Christmas carols being blared from every store day and night.

The workers that loathe Christmas time.

Customers asking if they have a certain toy in back.

Thinking that yes elves do work in the back room.

Parent's praying each day to the toy God's that their child will ask for less.

Or at least the regularly stocked toy.

It is all these things and so much more...

It is the time of the year where children and adults believe in magic once again.

Kids knowing deep down that there is a man in a red suit that awards good behavior.

And most importantly the time of the year when parents can threaten with the horror of the naughty list.

Where every good thing outweighs the bad.

The time of the year when you believe miracles can happen, and they usually do.

It is all these things and so much more...

It is the feeling of community throughout the world.

The feeling of loving one another is the only thing on each others minds.

War is paused in theory for one day. 

Goodwill is the only thing on the mind during this time.

Weapons are laid down.

And hearts are picked up.

It is all these things and so much more...

It's the twinkle in a child's eyes when they open what they have been asking for all year.

It is the peaceful snow falling at night, surprising the kids in the morning.

The clip clop of reindeer on the roof that every kid swears they hear at least once.

The parents with bloodshot eyes stumbling down to the tree trying to make any noise.

With one mission in mind, making their kid's wishes come true.

Christmas is the definition of magic.

For all these things and so much more...

And we all believe in it for at least one day.