Time Machine

I thought of doing this poem as a blog, but truth is I don't want to sit down right now and think out a whole blog.  I just had a thought that all my life I over analyze every decision which usually makes no decision.  Hence why I have a written book and still only a 1/3 typed!  But there are two decisions where I jumped without hesitation.  One proposing to my wife, because I just knew she was the one.  And the second was believe it or not quitting college to go the Cheese.  Granted it wasn't full blown college it was just one class of Psychology, but it was being taken on college campus.  So :P  Anyway I bring these two up because my heart told me, and also a little voice in my head kept telling me it was the right thing to do. As if I came back from the future and told myself what to do....

Time Machine....

If you had a time machine where would you go

Would go back to the past 

Or travel to the future

Would you go back to when you were a kid

Where the only the care in the world was what toy you would  play with next

Which snack tasted the best

Play with your friends everyday 

Sadly the ones you rarely see today

Stay outside until it got dark

And ignore your mom when she told when it was time to come inside

Being a ninja prowling the night

Saving the damsel in distress 

Flying like a superhero

Hitting the game winning homerun

And yes sometimes on special occasions

Wishing you were a princess

Depending who you were playing with

If you had a time machine where would you go

Would you go back to the past 

Or travel to the future

Would you go back to the teenage years

When you first started noticing the other sex

That awkward phase

Fear took precedence

Unsure how to act

Always worrying if you were cool enough

Not listening to your parents

Would you hug your uncle one last time

Go visit your Grandpa because you know he doesn't have that much time

Play ball with the dog you grew up with

Listen more to what your parents have told you

Because now you know they aren't full of it

Worrying more about yourself

Versus what others thought

 If you had a time machine where would you go

Would you go back to the past 

Or travel to the future

Would you go back to high school

Actually go to football games

Be a social nerd

Not work so much

Actually talk to girls

And date them

Not be afraid of them

Ask out every girl you even had a glimmer of affection for

Work hard

Study better

Play even more

Break a few rules

Screw being safe

Be you and screw everyone else

If you had a time machine where would you go

Would you go back to the past 

Or travel to the future

Would you go the future

See if your dream came true

Sold a billion books

Lived a life of luxury 

No longer worked

But instead lived

Finally able to be yourself

Smiling

Laughing 

Loving every moment

Demons have been silenced

Monsters have been tamed

Feeling truly happy

Finally being the hero you were born to be

If you had a time machine where would you go

Would you go back to the past 

Or travel to the future

I wouldn't 

Because then I wouldn't be the man I am today

Or become the hero I will be.

Buried Alive

There's no one around

No other footprints but my own

Being erased by the fast falling snow

No animals
No bugs

No birds flying overhead

Even the angels that are usually by my side

Have backed off

Only me

Then I hear the screams

Crunching of snow

The assault on the white blanket

Scarping wood against the dirt

As I drag this coffin through the snow

Banging and beating

Begging to be let out

The dented crooked nails 

Protruding from the top

Each effort of whatever is trapped inside

Desperate to escape

Is blocked by these tiny steel spikes

And wooden grave

The wind is a soft breeze

Bringing snowflakes to my cheek

Heavy shovel in one hand

No gloves

I want to remember this day

Pain helps me remember 

Scars make me never forget

Walk to the middle of the trees

There's an opening

A perfect place for its final resting spot

I drop the coffin

Making an impression on the snow

A silhouette of the crime I have committed

Pulling the knife out from its hiding spot

Blood stains all over the metal

Hoping the snow doesn't tarnish its beauty

I place the knife on the coffin

Daring for whatever is inside to grab it

More pounding on the coffin

Desperately reaching for something to exact their revenge

On me

Knowing they are unable to 

I do what the world has done to me 

I laugh

And start to dig

5 feet till the ground

It's hard to get away with murder

I dig for hours

Not shoveling fast enough

The falling snow covering the hole

Determination takes over

Adrenaline takes charge

The hole is dug

10 feet deep

Sweat pours down

Freezing to ever crevice on my face

 Tears stream down

It had to be done

The banging has stopped

The snow has stopped

Mother Nature knows there's no way of stopping me

Finally cooperates

Then the screams

The whispers start again

Invading the silence

The peace

I kick the cofffin

SHUT UP!

They don't listen

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

They don't listen

Just get louder

I grab the knife

Rip off the nails

Pry open the lid

Revealing emptiness

My skeletons are no longer there

The demons have escaped

They were never in there

Only in my head

That's where they always have been

No escape

Trapped in my own mind

Handcuffed by fear

Shackled by failure

Branded by fuck ups

And mistakes

I finally surrender

I place the coffin in the hole

Throw the knife in the woods

Snow starts to fall

Erasing any evidence I was even here

As if she knows her true role in this day

Snowing harder
Faster

Deeper

It's time

 I climb into the coffin

Close the lid

No more demons whispering

No more skeletons screaming

Only silence

Peaceful

The only sound in the snow hitting the coffin

Burying me

Accepting my fate

As one final whisper escapes my lips

I'm sorry....

Santa Exists....

Santa Exists...

There is nothing more tragic

When we grow older we stop believing in magic

For whatever reason or cause

We start denying the existence of the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus

Three magical creatures that loved us no matter our flaws

Even though they defined so many reality laws

Wiggling away from evil intention's claws

Trying so hard to be good and not give in to our inner outlaws

Finally the truth is revealed to us and a part of our life goes on pause

Losing the Christmas spirit from adults to teen

Knowing it doesn't matter if you are nice or if you are mean

Realizing the holidays mean we are surrounded by store's over advertising of red and green

A fat old man puts on a red suit on and is everywhere to be seen

Fearing miracles only happen when we dream

And if you hear another fricking Christmas song you will curse and scream

Then love comes along and in magic we start to believe

Finding out the magic in life was only  hiding and never did leave

Kids come into our lives and we see why our parents choose to deceive

Children singing off-key Christmas song after Christmas song

Parents using the jolly old elf as lesson to teach right from wrong

Making parents pray their children's behavior could be the good all year long

Seeing the twinkle the we thought was lost in our children's eyes

As they talk about the man on Christmas Eve night flies the skies

Christmases full of memories and happy cries

Forgiving your parents for the years and years full of lies

Feeling the spark become brighter and stronger in our selves

While we get our kids wishes and hide them on our closet shelves

We are the reindeer.  We are the elves.

We are the man who flies down the chimney chute

The jolly happy soul in the big red suit

Carrying a bag full of goodies and dream fulfilling loot

Dolls that say mama, balls that bounce, and trains that go toot

Parents eating whats left out whether it be milk, cookies, vegetables, or fruit

Best part is there are no footprints in the living room caused by soot

The reasons why Christmas is magical can fill many lists

Doing good deeds that no one admits

Is how we make the Christmas magic always persists

With love in our heart, yes, Santa exists...