Monster

Scratching behind my closet door

Snarls from underneath my bed

Red glowing eyes reflected in the mirror

Figures running by my night light

Shadowed creatures dancing on my wall

Hunting me on hind legs

I'm so scared 

Want to hug my teddy 

And feel safe

He's nowhere to be found

Bury my eyes in the covers

Closing my eyes

Crying silently 

Don't want the monsters to hear

Hiding under his dark bed

Listening to him cry

Fear only makes them tastier

Under the covers

Slowly cooking himself

Can already feel his tears

Quenching my thirst

Must be quiet this time

Was almost caught in the past

Remember cover his mouth 

So he can't scream for help

Time to change back.

Must be brave 

Brave like teddy tells me 

When he wipes away my tears

I need to find him

So the monsters don't eat him too 

Throw my pillow to the closet

That's where I last heard a sound

Reach down while the monsters are distracted

Feel his brown fur

I found teddy 

Now I will be safe

He will protect me 

I hug him tight 

Praying to make it through the night

I feel his arms around me

Hugging me tight

I start to whisper in a sweet voice

I'll protect you and you are safe

I feel his lips kiss my forehead

And telling me thank you 

This is too easy 

Easily devour him 

Can't hold my hunger for much longer

I will just wait for him to close his eyes

Than I will feast...

Hollywood Moments! Part 1

We sit in the darkness of the theater, debating to start eating our overpriced snacks.  The soda filled 3/4 of the top with ice so they don't give you too much soda.  Playing the should I go to the bathroom game before the movie starts game in our heads.  Or maybe you are snuggled on the couch, or in your bed next to your loved one cozy fighting off the inevitable nodding off to sleep, and then denying till the cows come home you weren't snoring or sleeping, but looking at the screen you don't remember that character ever showing up. We watch movies to escape, and see things that don't happen in our lives, but truth is everything we watch on the big screen happens in an essence in our lives.  I know what your thinking; you don't remember fighting space aliens, having a masked killer try to stab you in the closet, or remember singing songs about ANYTHING and having animals sing and talk to you during the chorus.  Those exact scenes we hopefully never have to live through, but each and every day the aspects of those events happen everyday!

Just like a movie crew we also have a full credits of our lives.  Our main characters are ourselves and the family and friends who stick by our side no matter what. The supporting characters of our lives the people who we meet in our lives and have a huge impact on our lives at one time, but one for reason or the other, they no longer show up. They teach us their lesson and play their role and move on. Then we have the extras.  The random people we meet while living.  People we went to school with, co workers that we barely worked with, or the random friendly person who strikes up a conversation. I am not saying that the extras aren't important in our lives, because I truly believe in my heart that every person we meet in our lives, is because the Director has put them in our paths. Now this is where I'm about to blow your minds, because we play all those roles simultaneously throughout our lives but not in our moves, but others.  We might see ourselves as  a hero in our story, but in someone else's you are straight up the villain. And the only way we can change our roles in any movie we are starring in, guest starring in, or just walking though is by being the best we can be.

A movie is not just the actors though. An actor is nothing without a great director, writer, and producer to help bring them the project to be in. To start off we have many jobs on the movie set that is our lives. Let's break down the roles real quick. The first and foremost behind the scenes role that we have no part in is the Director. We are not the Director, he is, God. He puts the people in our lives, helps coincidences happen, gives us strength when all we wanna do is give up, creates miracles where there is no more hope, and etc. Now this might piss some people off, but we are the writers of our movie. The director gives us the characters and we determine what we will do with them, but we don't write their lines, because they are the stars of their own movie. We are all interweaved into one giant movie, the movie that the Director is directing. As for the producer that is a role we share throughout our lives, starting off with our parents who helped support us when we were younger, than transitioning over to us as we get older, and if you are married then the title will be shared among the both of you. 

Now that we have the characters of our movie we have to get into the writing of the stories. The moments that make our movie memorable.  But that's for the sequel.

To Be Continued...

2.5 Years....

It's been 2.5 years since I've posted anything to my blog. I logged on today, and saw two drafts of blogs that have never been posted.  One was a poem about music, and the other is one that will never see the light of day.  The mystery of why the blog has been so void of new content is quite simple, I was afraid to write.  I know that might sound weird hearing a person who calls himself a writer, being afraid to pick up a pen, but it's true.  It's easy to write when you are in a constant battle with your inner demons, and not sure if your life will ever change.  Being stuck in a place and not feeling like you are never going any where is a lot of fuel to keep the ink flowing.  When you move on from that dark place, you are afraid to pick back up that pen in fear of going back to that same place, or even worse you find out the ink flowed so freely because it was the only way to deal with the internal pain.  So here's to show the world that I can write as good, or hopefully better now that I'm in a different place in my life. 

     Like I said it's 2.5 years since I actually sat down and wrote something to post.  My pen has been moving and have been writing, but 9/10 the only eyes that see those words are mine.  I entered a writing contest with two stories, but didn't get chosen to get them published.  I guess once again the rest of the world is not ready for the sense of humor, and or writing stylings of me.  If I could go back in time and chat with myself while writing another superhero poem, I have a feeling I would freak out.  One the huge change would be the facial hair my current self would be sporting, which in turn would make my past self think I am from the darkest timeline.  (Community Reference).  I would tell him a few things.  The first thing I would tell him is there is a light at the end of the Cheese tunnel.  At that time I felt like I would never leave, and all signs pointed to that happening.  I would tell myself hold on a little longer, and new opportunities will open up.  I would not tell him what, but I would tell him it's all for the best for everyone around you, family, friends, and most importantly yourself.  I would also tell him the people around you who you are talking to daily, will be become silent, but not to worry because there are people you haven't met yet, or people from the past will come back and fill that void that they will leave.  Life is funny that way, people come into our lives, have a huge impact, and then one day they are no longer there.  Don't be bitter they are gone, just remember the good times with them.  

     I would not give myself any hints of the journey I have taken to get to where I am today, because that journey has made me the person I am today.  Life is full of rough patches, and inner and outer battles that make us stronger when we are done. God's plan is funny that way.  If we pray for strength, God does not give us muscles, He gives us the chance to show how strong we truly are.  And in the past I did pray for strength, and He provided.  And that was when we weren't even talking as much as we do now.  I would tell myself thought that scouts would become a huge part in my life, and your son is actually going to enjoy going to it.  After my past self was done falling on the floor laughing,  I would look him in the face and say I wouldn't lie to myself, in the future you stop doing that!  

      I'm not sure where I wanted to go with the blog honestly, I just know I wanted to see if I could pick up a pen without my inner demons being the reason the ink is flowing.  I'll let you be the judge.  Super Mid Life will come out before I die, hopefully, but in the mean time Nightmares will come out before that.  A collection of the scary stories I have written in the past and ones I haven't written yet.  My blog won't be silent this year hopefully, I have so many more stories and poems to write.  And I promise they won't all be about clowns or superheroes.