Tuesday, April 23, 2013

The Darkness

Just a quick note: I do not feel any of this right now.  In fact I feel the complete opposite.  But without ever feeling the darkness, I would never be able to fully appreciate the light that is my life right now!



Have you ever been in such a dark place.
You wouldn't even recognize your own face.
When life is moving so fast.
No matter how hard you run you always get kicked in the ass.
You trip, stumble, and fall to the ground.
And you scream, and no around hear's your sound.

Have you ever had your whole world crumble around you.
When giving up seemed to be the only thing you were capable to do.
That you have cried so much there are no more tears to cry.
And the only thing you can do to be is happy is try.
 Everywhere else you look in the world you see light.
And you look inside yourself and everything is not right.

You must look to your friends and family for the hope they will bring.
Their love, compassion, and understanding they will sing.
The good people in your life will not point and stare.
They will stop at nothing to show how much they care.
Your inner light might be dim, but it is not gone.
With the help of others it will find its old song.

We were not created to take on the world by ourselves.
We were born to live in it with the ones we love.
Friends, family, and everything above.
So that darkness give it a big shove.
For the light to come back it must be you that you truly love.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Birth of Hero: Chapter 1

All right I told you that April was going to be about love for April, and I have for the most part.  But one of the things I love most is writing, and since doing my blog I haven't focused on my book.  But that has changed in fact you are about to read the first chapter of my book I plan on finishing this year.  And I will make it even more special for those who read it, if I get feedback on all the chapters I post, good and or bad, I will post up to Chapter 5 on my blog for free.  I gotta have something to sell down the road.  So in closing I love writing, and when I am writing I'm loving life.  And without further ado I give you Chapter 1!!!!

Chapter 1

It was a typical Friday  night in the Thompson residence.  Teresa Thompson, Topher's mother was downstairs cooking dinner, and Franklin Thompson, Topher's father was stuck at work yet again.  Then there was the usual commotion of screaming, bomb sounds, rat-a-tats, and world domination plans being bellowed from behind closed doors.  Behind that door is where Topher, a seven year old boy is playing with his superhero toys like any normal seven year old boy does.  He's wearing one of his many superhero themed pajamas, in fact those are the only kind of pajamas he owns.  His short blonde spikey hair resembles the hero he drew of himself when he gets older, Captain Awesome.  Topher has just made Arachnid-Guy get the ambush on Professor Pain, Topher boasts in his super-hero voice, "Arachnid-Guy will get you Professor Pain!"  Topher turns around Professor Pain as if he really heard the hero speak to him and answers back in a sinister villian voice, "You can try Arachnid-Girl, but Professor Pain will destroy you!"
Topher is too busy playing with his figures he doesn't hear his mom yelling down from the stairs dinner is ready.  In all actuality he did what every kid does, hears her yelling, but chooses to ignore it, and continues playing.  Arachnid-Guy dives towards Professor Pain off of a four block built tower that Topher built to resemble Professor Pain's castle wall.  Topher thinks he hears a faint knocking at his door, but once again chooses to ignore it.  Topher makes Arachnid-Guy continually punch Professor Pain in the face boasting while hitting him, "That's for calling me Arachnid Girl!!!"  Teresa Thompson, Topher's mother bursts into the room and startles Topher.
"Topher, I have been calling you for dinner for the last five minutes!! I know you heard me, because I'm pretty sure half of the neighborhood knows it's time for dinner, and they are sitting at our table waiting for me to serve them!  So put down those dolls, and get ready for dinner.  I swear those awful comic books are rotting your brain, and making you immune to the outside world.  Your father and I bought you that whole Encyclopedia set and all they do is sit on the shelf and gather dust, or you use them to build silly little bases for your dolls to battle over.   Now go wash your hands and face and come down for dinner." Topher's mother says and then heads back down stairs.  
Topher cleans up and heads downstairs and sits at the table.  Clearly looking defeated by his mother's words about his toys and what he does in his spare time.  The whole time he was cleaning himself up and his toys he was trying to think of a kind retaliation towards his mom, one that wouldn't get him in trouble.  He couldn't think of one at the moment so he just blurted out the first thing that came to him, "Mom, the reason I don't read the Encyclopedia's is because I don't want to be a super-smart adult, I want to be a super-hero when I grow up.  I wanna fly, lift cars, run really fast, and save the world.  That's what I wanna do.  Not be stuck at a desk all day, or work in a lab like Dad does.  Sure that's ok for ones secret identity, but I would be bored if that was my life."  Topher sat back and prepared for his mother's response.  
Teresa responded, "Topher, dear, very simply put super-heroes don't exist.  I'm sorry they are just fantasy.  Some people get paid money to sit at desk, like you don't wanna do, and write about their adventures.  They all come from someone's imagination and it takes a team of people to bring them to life.  Since you like to draw so much, maybe one day you will be on a team that helps create superheroes for kids to read when you are older.  Simply put honey, I'm sorry, but this is the truth, superheroes are fake."  Teresa felt a little bad for the bluntness of how she explained the situation to her son, but she wanted to make sure to nip the crazy notion in the butt, that her boy will grow up to become a superhero just because he wants to be one when he gets older.  The crazier thing is this just fueled Topher's desires even more.
Topher came back at his mom with what he thought would of been the best way to prove his point that superheroes do exist.  "Mom, if superheroes aren't real then how come they have numerous autobiographical movies written about them.  Song's written about them, and not to mention a plethora of books written about them also.  Mom super-heroes are real, and one day I will prove that to you! I promise!"  Topher was so proud of what he said he just smiled thinking he finally got through to his mom.  
Teresa wanted this conversation done but didn't want to destroy her son's feelings in the process.  She sat for a second and pondered over each word she was about to say, and finally responded.  "Well, until that day Sweetie we live in the real world where intelligence and money reign supreme.  Not silly super-villains or aliens from another planets wearing capes and a "S" on their chest. Now eat your dinner, this conversation is over."   Topher and his mother sat and ate dinner in silence, because they both said their piece, and neither won.  Topher finished quickly, hugged his mom, told her he loved her, and headed upstairs.  
Topher sat up in his room almost near tears letting his mom's words soak in, but then he thought to himself she's wrong, and he just has to prove it.  He goes over in his head the many superhero origins, and tries to think of the easiest ones to recreate, and looks down and sees his Arachnid-Guy figure staring back at him.  He then remembers that Arachnid-Guy was bit by a radioactive spider, a spider would be easy to come by, but he had no idea what was radioactive.  He then started looking around and spotted his encyclopedias and grabbed the "R" volume as fast as he could.  He looked up radioactive up and saw it says sometimes glows in the dark.  Then Topher remembered he had glow in the dark crayons and an idea popped into his head.  Then at that very moment he spotted a spider climbing on his wall, and he thought to himself this must be a sign, and captured the spider and put the spider in a jar with holes poked in it so it could breathe.  He then found his crayon sharpener, and took his crayon shavings and placed them in the jar with the spider.  Smiling from ear to ear, so proud of himself, he placed his soon to be superpowered spider next to him on his nightstand, and went to bed.  

Topher woke up the next day staring at the spider with anticipation.  He was about to stick his hand in the jar when his mother told him to come down for breakfast since she was making pancakes.  Pancakes was Topher's favorite, and she felt a little bad after their discussion last night, so she was trying to make up for it. Teresa unsure of how to break the uncomfortable silence that was remained in the dining room since last night decided to spurt out the first thing that came to mind, "How'd you sleep honey?"  Inside her head shes mentally facepalming herself realizing how dumb and random that sounded.  
Topher with a giant smile on his face retorted back, "Like a log mom! Like a log!"  Topher unsure of how to broach the next subject to his mom so he decided to shoot first then hopefully no questions would be  asked later.  "Umm...Mom...how do you get a spider to bite you?"  Topher's mother who was in the middle of flipping pancakes in the air, misses the pancake completely in the pan and it falls on the ground.  Topher fully aware of the reaction his mother was having to the random question decided to back it up with a little white lie.  "Mom, I'm trying to become super-smart about our arachnid friends, and the encyclopedias only say much, but it doesn't say why spiders bite people, and I wanna know as much information as possible."  Topher sat and prayed to himself his mother would fall for that.
His mother thought for a second and smiled, thinking maybe their talk last night did have an effect on him.  She answered, "Well, honey, my best guess is a spider might bite you if you tried to handle it, tease it, or agitate in anyway."  Teresa was still a little disturbed by her son's question, but was happy he was researching something that didn't involve capes and lazer beams being shot out of someone's eyes.  Topher then grabs a fork and stabs three pancakes through each other, and shoves them all in his mouth, not bothering chewing.  Mumbles thanks, and runs upstairs back up to his room.  Teresa was so moved from his desire to go learn more she didn't bother saying anything and let him go upstairs.  
Topher jumps on his bed and grabs the jar with the spider and the crayon shavings in it.  Topher says out loud to himself, "I wonder if this is going to hurt, but you know what they say no pain no gain."  Topher then takes the spider out of the jar and holds the spider in his hand.  Topher than proceeds to chat with the spider. "Come on spider, bite me. But please not to hard." Topher waits for a second and prepares for the pinch, but nothing happens.  Topher getting a little upset starts to quietly yell at the spider because he can't let his mom know what he is trying to do, because if she knew she would burst through the door, and squish that spider and the same time destroy any hope of him getting spider powers.  "Come on you dumb spider! Bite me!" Topher says while shaking the spider in his hand.  Topher feels a little pinch and looks down and sees the spiders fangs in his hand, and thinks to himself yes VICTORY!  Topher than puts the spider back in the jar, just incase it takes more than one bite he'll be prepared the second time.  Topher than feels a little woozy and dizzy and passes out.  
Teresa comes up to watch her son study about spiders when she notices he is passed out on the floor.  Teresa starts screaming, "TOPHER, TOPHER! Wake up!"  Spying the room for any clues of what may have happened, such as maybe found something he shouldn't of drank, a book fell on his head, anything that would explain why her son was passed out on his floor.  She then saw the spider in the jar on the nightstand.  Topher wakes up to his startled mother lying over him.  "What happened!  Did that spider bite you!", Teresa asks Topher.  
"Mom, I was just studying him up close to see what he felt like, and the spider just bit me", Topher lied to his mom.
"Well, I'm getting rid of your new friend here since he nearly caused me a heartattack!  He's going outside where he belongs, and don't you dare try to go find him again and bring him back in this household, or I will throw all your dolls and comics away! Is that clear mister?!", Teresa demanded of her son.  Topher shook his head and smiled very quickly so his mom wouldn't see.  If his plan worked like he thought it would, he would only need the one spider bite, and he would become Arachnid-Boy.  His mother left with the spider and Topher then shut the door.  Topher gets a huge smile on his face and thinks to himself now that shes outside its time to test out my powers.  Lets see Arachnid-Guy has a super-strength and can also stick to walls.  Topher gets down ready to lift his bed over his head, but much to his dismay he doesn't lift it.  He thinks to himself maybe my strength hasn't developed yet, then walks over to the wall.  He puts one hand on the wall, followed by the other, then he places his left foot on the wall and jumps to get the right foot on the wall.  He doesn't stick.  Instead gravity takes over and hurtles back to the floor and hits his head against the wall on the way down.  Stupid not radioactive spider Topher thinks to himself, and ponders why the glow in the dark crayon shavings didn't work.  Topher than heads over to his comics to look up other origins of superheroes.
Topher sits in his room with all his comics sprawled out on the floor and he's in the middle of the chaos, which is his floor.  Topher picks up an issue of Stunt-Man and remembers how Stunt-Man got his powers, which is that he was splashed in the eye with toxic waste, and since Topher is pretty sure that would hurt way more than a spider bite, and also the fact how would he get toxic waste at the age of seven, he decided to nix that idea.  He then grabbed an issue of Major US and thinks to himself that Roger was injected with a superhero serum during World War II, but Topher is deathly afraid of needles so once again threw another idea in the proverbial trash can.  Topher than grabs an issue of Green Giant, he always liked how huge Green Giant was, and how he changed when he lost his temper.  Topher thought that would be a sweet way to activate my powers, but then he found out how the Green Giant got his powers and that was from an atomic bomb fallout at a testing facility, and Topher knew there would be no chance he could even attempt that.  Topher about to give up then picks up a copy of Super-Dude.
Topher flips through the pages and sees a ship crash landing on Earth, and then remembers that his parents have no pictures of his mother when she is pregnant.  Or have any ultrasound pictures in his baby book, there's only pictures of him after he is born.  Topher than puts two and two together and comes to the conclusion he must be an alien!  He has figured it all out, and runs out his door.  He runs down the stairs and jumps the last three steps.  After Topher lands with a giant thud on the floor he then bolts to the kitchen to where his mom is washing the dishes.  He bursts into the kitchen asking his mom a question, "Mom, can I ask you a question?"
Teresa looks at her son and notices the excitement on his face, then sees  the bump on his head and answers back, "Sure but first you tell me how you got that bump on your head that wasn't there earlier."
Topher quickly responds, "I fell! Mom, am I an alien from another planet.  It would explain so much.  You have no pictures of you when I was in your tummy, and theres no pictures of me in the hospital, and also there are no ultrasound pictures of me in my baby book.  So I must be an alien.  I'm right aren't I mom?"  Topher than but on a big grin awaiting the truth to finally show its face.  
Teresa drops the plate she was washing and it shatters on the floor and her face drops to a frown because she has to break Topher's happy dreams once again in the same weekend.  She thinks for a second and slowly starts talking to Topher, "Son your father and I knew this day would come, but had no idea it would come this soon.  Yes you are right there are no pictures of me when I was pregnant with you, because I never was pregnant with you.  And I hate to break your bubble honey, but your not an alien, in fact you are adopted."
Topher looks puzzled at his mom and asks, "What does adopted mean mom?"
Teresa tells Topher, "Well hon, adopted means that sometimes a mommy can't provide for their child for whatever reason.  So they put their child up for adoption so a family like your dad and I could take care of them instead. "
Topher looks on with tears forming in his eyes and asks his mom a question that all adopted parents dread, and have no answer for. "Why would someone not want me?  Are you sure you're not making up this adoption story to cover up my alien origin."
Teresa looks her son in the eyes and tells him very sweetly, "Well sometimes circumstances happen sweetie.  It just means that your dad and I love you even more because you are very special to us, and are blessed to have you in our life.  Not a day goes by that I thank not only God, but also your birth mother for giving us the opportunity to being parents."
Topher hugged his mom and told her he loved her.  And told her he's going to go play outside.  Teresa watched as her son went out to play with his head down lower than she had ever seen it, and felt a little of her heart break inside. 
Topher stepped outside and wiped the tears from his eyes, because Topher knew heroes don't cry and was determined to prove that he was an alien, and not adopted.  He went out looking for rocks that resembled meter rock from his home planet, because when Super-Dude got near them they made him weak, and Topher knew deep down the same thing would happen to him if he found any.  He was about to give up his search when he found a jagged looking rock, but it wasn't glowing green, Topher thought oh well glow in the dark paint can fix that.  He was so infatuated with the rock he didn't hear the three boys walk up behind him, preparing to taunt and torture him, the normal Saturday ritual sadly.  "What are you doing Super-NERD!", Tommy the head bully bellowed to Topher.  Tommy was your typical slightly overweight bully with not very well kept hair, and just a black shirt.  His lackeys Gunther and Mitch dressed exactly the same, because they desperately wanted to be like Tommy.
"Ha, Super-Nerd, Good one Tommy!", Mitch and Gunther said at the same time, trying to prove which one was more a better lackey to Tommy.  In Tommy's eyes he knew that both Mitch and Gunther were both horrible lackeys, but they kept trying to prove themselves to him so he liked it.  Plus they always gave Tommy their snacks they got in their lunch, hence the slightly overweight issue Tommy was facing.  Tommy kept trying to find better lackeys, but it's hard finding new goons to follow you when you are a jerk to everyone.
Topher turns around determined to stand up to his everyday beraters, "Well, I see brawn, brawn, and brawn, but where are the brains of the operation?  That's right there are none."  Topher than smiles triumphantly silently congratulating himself on his intelligence.  The three goons just stare at Topher with bewilderment trying to replay what Topher just said to them, and actually figure out what it meant.  Topher saw another moment for a decisive victory and opened up his mouth one more time, "What you don't get it? That's right you guys are dumb, stupid, have no clue, now do you get it! Now that's a good one."
Tommy has had enough and just let loose on Topher punching him straight in the face.  Topher goes down with one punch.  Tommy gloats, "Now that is funny you little dweeb!".  The three bullies just stand over Topher laughing triumphantly, even though Tommy is the only one who did anything.  He usually is the only one.  The other two are just his little parrots that follow him around and just repeats what he has to say, and agree with him when need be.  That was one of the few attributes that Tommy really liked about Gunther and Mitch.  Maybe they weren't so bad Tommy thought to himself.  Tommy high fived Gunther and Mitch and said, "Let's leave this Super girl to cry by herself." While Tommy and his goons were walking away Topher noticed something in between the tears in his eyes, a jaggedly looking rock.  That resembled Dryptonite to a T.  Topher than knew why he went down so quickly for he was around his one weakness, a rock from his own planet Drypton.  
Topher picked up the rock and started running home, getting weaker after each step he said to himself, "Wow, this is really working, because it keeps getting harder and harder to get home.  Boy am I weak from this rock. I knew that whole adoption story was a cover up."  Topher than limped up to his room, and made a mental note to ask him mom to put in an escalator. because if he was going to be fighting super-villians every day he can't be expected to walk up the stairs as well.  As soon as Topher made it into his room he grabbed his neon green paint and started to paint the rock so it more looked like Dryptonite to further more prove he was an alien from another planet.  As soon as the paint dried on the Dryptonite Topher than immediately hid the rock, because he thought if Tommy and his goons found out about his weakness, and where it was they would use it against him, or worse sell it to other super-villians so it would be easy to take him down.  
Since Topher was convinced that he was a hero he knew he needed a costume to go exact justice on the thugs that just humiliated him.  Topher was determined to show those bullies that you can't pick on the little guys forever, eventually they will fight back, and win.  Topher knew that he would be the ones to show them that.  Topher than grabs an orange cape he had from a Halloween costume, some black boots because all super-heroes wear boots, a belt, gloves, and a mask to hide his true identity.  Topher stands in the mirror admiring his handiwork, then boasts outloud for no one to hear, "Beware evil doers...um rats I don't have a super-hero name yet.  Let's see I bet one of my super-powers is super strength.  There was a word that meant a thing of immense size and power, what was it...leviphan...no levthan...no close....Leviathan!  That's it! Beware evil doers Leviathan will always destroy your evil plans."  Topher was actually glad no one was around at the moment, because he thought it was weird he was talking to himself, and also he didn't have a name picked out.  But now he did and he was ready to go find Terrible Tommy and his two goons.  Before he went off to find his enemies he decided he should test his strength first just to see how strong he actually was.  He walked up to his bed and tried to lift it but failed.  Topher knew the reason must be because the Dryptonite was so close to him in his room and soon as he left his strength would replenish himself.  Topher went out to go seek justice.
Topher didn't have to look to hard to find Tommy and his goons because they set their sights on another kid down the street trying to take his bike from him.  Topher walked up right behind Tommy with no fear in his heart for he knew this was his battle to win.  Topher says in a deep voice, "Terrible Tommy stop your evil doing now!  For Leviathan is here to defend the little guy! Now run along and take your two numb skulled miscreants with you, and I'll let you off with a warning!"  Topher than put his hands on his hips in a triumphant stance knowing he just won his first of many battles against a list of super-villians.
All three bullies jaw's drop, and then start bursting out in laughter. "You gotta be kidding me!" Tommy said in between his laughter.  Tommy composed himself a little and continued on, "Leviphan or whatever your name is, or is it Super-Dweeb Topher we creamed earlier. Did you not get enough the first time around.  You want another beating?" 
Topher held his composure and just answered in his deep voice once again, "No, I am Leviathan, but Topher told me how you beat him up earlier today! So here I am to defend the little guy, and bring justice to the miscreants who dealt out the trouble."
Tommy was trying to hold back tears from laughing so hard. And finally squeaked out, "Uhh sure...since I'm such a terrible miscreant I'll give you first shot Levifem...or what ever your name is.
Topher knew this was his chance to finally return all the pain Tommy has dealt him over the years.  He reached back as far as he could with his fist and yelled, "Prepare to be leviathaned!"  Topher swung with all his might and landed with a light thud on Tommy's portly stomach.  This was not the blow Topher was hoping to land.  Tommy without warning retaliated and knocked Topher straight in the stomach and knocked the wind out of Topher.  
Victorious once again Tommy and his goons left Topher in utter defeat and walked away saying, "Thank's for the lesson Levialoser!" And laughed all the way home.  The other boy not wanting to face the wraith of the bullies if he helped Topher, ran straight to his house leaving Topher in the middle of his yard gasping for air.  Topher lied there for a good five minutes until he finally caught enough air to walk home and limped all the way home.  Still weary from two battles his faced in one day. 

Topher walked into the kitchen and Teresa noticed instantly what he was wearing and how out of breath he was.  "What happened to you!!", Teresa asked in a loving mother voice.  Then hugged her beat up son.  "Was it that Tommy and his friends again!  Do I need to call his mother again!", Teresa said.
All that Topher could say was, "I'm not an alien Mom!" Topher than cried for a minute.  Then told his mom what happened.  How he was beat up earlier by Tommy and his friends and thought he was beat because of the rock he found.  So then he got a costume and left the rock at home thinking his super powers would kick in, and he would finally be able to get the better of Tommy.  So he saw him picking on the other kid and went to go save him, but just got beat up again, while the other kid ran off and didn't get hurt.
Teresa was sitting there soaking in her son's traumatic day and finally responded, "You at least were a hero to someone, standing up for the little guy.  But let this be a lesson sweetie, you don't need powers to be a hero."  
Topher kissed him on the cheek and just said, "Thank's Mom, I really needed to hear that.  How do mom's always know what to say?"
Teresa just simply answered, "It's a Mom's super-power."  
Before Topher went to bed he was reminded of a bunch of super-heroes who have no powers and still are heroes.  Topher picks up a copy of the Revenger but then puts it down remembering how violent the Revenger is, and is always bordering on the line between hero and villian.  Topher than picks up a copy of Bat-Guy and thinks to himself Bat-Guy is way strong, knows karate, fights crime, and is way cool.  I could become the new Bat-Guy, but then Topher remembered how Bat-Guy got into fighting crime, and that was his parents were killed, and Topher knew he would miss his parents if they were killed.     Topher puts down the comics and just stares out the window looking at the stars.  Once again talking to himself, "Maybe I'm still an alien and my powers haven't come to me yet.  Who am I kidding I'm just a boring regular nerdy eight year old.  Not even my Mom who had me in her tummy didn't want me!"  Topher starts to cry and notices a shooting star.  He knew if he made a wish on a shooting star it was bound to come true.  So he closed his eyes tight and made the wish to become a super hero.   So he could defend the little guy, stand up for the ones who are afraid to, and assist in the removal of all evil in the world.  Topher than crawled into his bed, and fell asleep dreaming of super-heros.

 


Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Love Part 7: Distance





There are many tests of love but distance is one of the greatest ones and sadly destroys many loves.  Distance can be anything from being in another country, another state, or just not seeing enough of each other.  But if you truly love someone and have them in your heart, where they belong to be, the distance between you two are just meaningless numbers.  Missing someone is ok, in fact its encouraged, but the one thing you can not do, i repeat can not do, is put your life on hold for someone to return,  I'm not saying go out and date, I'm saying go out and live life, with that person you miss in your mind and your heart, but without them weighing you down.

It's easy to focus on the bad when someone is gone, the cold bed, the missed hugs, the constant warmth that used to be there before distance put you apart, but all that does is make you sad, and possibly depressed if you let it get the best of you.  The trick is to remember all the things that made you fall in love with that person who is not there at the moment, and plan to recreate them the next time you see them.  Kiss them like it was your first kiss, hug a little bit longer, plan a surprise that they won't see coming, just basically wow them off their feet showing them yes you missed them, but you didn't dwell on it and their absence didn't ruin your life.

Also a trick to do before they leave is to get mementos of your love and always keep them with you.  Whether it be a pillow or shirt that smells like the one you love, possibly a mixtape (showing my age) or playlist of songs you choose together that remind you of three things, you, them, and your love together.  And add that to both of your music devices.  So if you get a chance you can each play a song together at the same time and feel like you are within the same moment, without you two actually being next to each other.  Music has the ability to bridge distance, and also has a way to bond with ones heart, and if you are both listening to it at the same time you in theory built a bridge to each others hearts.

Distance can kill a relationship if you let it.  If you let your heart wander due to wanting love from missing it so long, you will not feel that true of love ever again.  In fact you will be training your heart to love until love is no longer there, and then move on.  Which may be needed, but in most cases it is not.  Our stories have been written already and we are just living it.  I truly believe this.  Everything in my life has happened for a reason, and the distance issue I have felt has made me a stronger, emotional, and self inspiring person.  Without distance there would be no blog, and my mind would be bored and possibly dumber.  Every love deserves to be tested, in fact it must to see how strong it is.  And distance is the greatest test, and if love is true on both ends, in each others hearts, than there is no distance between you two that will destroy the love you have for each other.

A Poem: Shoes


The shoes we wear.
Have a story to share.
If they talked would we care.
What they had to say.
They have been there every day.
They can not lie because they were there.
Therefore the truth is all they are able to bare.

They know what you have walked through.
What you have done and what you have had been done to you.
They've walked through blood, tears, and sweat.
They know every person you have met.
The ones who you have loved. 
The ones who have hated.
The ones you have hurt in the past.
And the ones who with you have had a blast.

Some spend hundreds of dollars on theres.
While some feet in the world remain bare.
Some wear shoes that show off their toes.
Most of us wear them to keep our feet from getting cold.
Some new and some old.
Shoes colors from everywhere from bland to bold.

Shoes cover our feet and protect us on the road we walk on.
The road that is hard and long.
Our shoes do not define us our steps do.
The steps we take to make us a better you.
So just look at your shoes.
Just look.
And you will realize what you are really walking on is your lifes book.

Friday, April 12, 2013

Tired Hero

What happens when a hero walks away.
Gets burnt out from saving the day.
Just walks off into the sunset without a word to say.
Tired of saving a world that doesn't want to be saved.

If he chose to hang up his cape.
Put away the mask. 
Blend in with the rest.
With no longer a symbol on his chest.
Who then would step up to be the best.

If the hero decided he no longer wanted to fly.
Would you still look up to the sky?
Would the concept of a hero die?
People would signal and he would not come.
The crowd would shout help.
Still he would not come.
His heart is tired and worn down.
He cannot wear a fake smile, only half of a frown.

For the hero ultimately is teaching a lesson to you.
A lesson that is tired and very true. 
When the going gets tough, the tough get through.
And the person who will ultimately save the world is you.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Love Part 6: The Moment



Life is full of very important moments, but the moments that stand out are the ones that change you drastically/  For instance that moment you graduate and start your dream job (still hasn't happened yet for me), that moment you become a parent (one I will never forget), and that moment you fall in love and realize this person is the one (the moment that made me who I am).  Many people ask couples at what moment did you realize that this person was the one.  Now I can't speak for others, but I can tell you mine.  The single moment that let me know my wife was the one was when I realized I was dating my best friend and I realized I would be blessed if I was able to spend the rest of my life with her.  My mom knew from the beginning of us dating for two reasons, one I never waited by the window for any of the other dates I went on (i still remember sitting on the gray couch in the living room waiting for her to pull up.), and two my mom said I quote, I really like Abbey.  And if I tell you how my mom said it my mom would kill me.  Love you mom!

When we grow up we tell our children certain moments or memories about our previous life before kids to describe what love was when it was young.  That first kiss we had as a couple.  The little surprises here and there.  Your wedding, and the safe parts of the honeymoon ;).  Because children are curious about who we were before they came along, and those moments are what makes you grow and love grow stronger when you get older.  I remember every single detail of our first kiss. For one reason it was my last first kiss with anyone else, and I knew that moment as soon as our lips parted she was the one.  I don't believe in love at first sight, the only thing I believe in is love because moments.  The moments we will never forget and make live on in a daily basis. 


The thing about moments is you can't force them.  That's what people don't realize.  If love isn't moving forward naturally move on, because if you force it becomes a lie.  When life full of great moments it is very important to help relive them.  By sharing them, or trying to recreate them.  You will never have that magic of the first kiss again, so it's up to you to make the next one even better.  Every kiss has the opportunity to knock socks off and takes breathes away, but only if you put your full heart and soul  into it, which every kiss with your true love should have.  Make  a new moment every chance you get, because every new moment is a chance at a new great story to tell later down the road.    










Thursday, April 4, 2013

Love Part 5: Love in Heaven



We all have loved ones we have lost parents, siblings, grandparents, relatives, friends and etc.  And when they are taken from you at that time you usually question Why!  Why them?  Why did You take them away from me?  I know because I've asked that question to many times in my life, and never really got an answer until a week ago, well in actuality I was probably given the answer years ago, but never fully understood it.  Before we go any further I'm going to lay it out on the line that I will not touch on religion and if you are or are not a religion you won't go to heaven, (i've been told that a few times :P).  I just laugh at those people because I believe deep down if you are a good person and spend more time in your life helping others, more than helping yourself in the long run there will always be a spot for you upstairs.  At least I hope so...fingers are crossed.

They say you die twice, the first time is when your heart stops, and the second is when your name is spoken or thought of for the last time.  I don't buy that quote at all.  The first part is a given, but I think the second part never happens.  Every person in this world touches lives in a way either positively or negatively, and the way you have been affected by that person always stays with you through memories, sure they may be distant memories, but they are somewhere in your mind.  Whether it be of your uncle calling you up once a week to ask you three simple questions before he talked to your Mom; 1. How's work? 2. How's the girl situation? and 3. Clog any toilets lately?  Then go into detail about what he had to do get some of his down.  I miss those phone calls.  Or it might be your Grandpa taking you to the Funspot with your sister almost every sunday when most of the other kids were at Church to play mini golf.  Those memories stay with us forever, and get passed down through us without us even realizing it, through our everyday actions, the way we act, to the way we talk, and to the people we become, eventually, and hopefully.

I was in church a few weeks ago and Father told a story about a boy who died and went to heaven, but then the doctors brought him back.  His Dad asked him what was heaven like were there a lot of people there, and the child responded all he saw were children.  Which brings me to two conclusions one, if we die before teenagers we're going to heaven, or two in heaven we revert to our most innocent form, child.  Which if you are a parent you know most children aren't that innocent. :)  But I believe that is mostly part 2 with a twist.  I believe you are reverted to child like form in heaven because God reuses your best parts of you when you are alive and redistributes them to your family, to make sure that they are never forgotten.  For instance my uncle had massive poops, all three of my kids clog our toilets.  And my Uncle never knew a stranger and I strive to be the same way, seeing the good in people and refusing to believe that they had bad in them.  I was about ten and we were sitting in my Uncles pick up in McDonald's parking lot and we saw a homeless man with a sign that said "need money", instead of my uncle giving him money he bought him a meal and gave it to him, the man then threw it in the trash and moved on, my Uncle smiled and got in the car and drove off.  And we never talked about it on the way home.  Because I believe he just wanted to forget the negative response he just received and move on. And that's what he did.


The funny thing about life and death is one always follows the other.  After life comes death hopefully way far down the road, but ones where it is unexpected and sudden I believe that is His way of giving a gut check showing us how life is so precious and not to waste it.  So the Why? I finally understood of why He takes people from us is very simple it helps us grow and teaches us that life is precious, and to live every moment.  We need to learn from their lives, and either apply what they did if they got it right, or change a few things that would needed changing to make it right.  I have said in the past we are the result of our ancestors before us, how else can you explain people saying that's something your grandpa would say, or you look just like your great great grandma.  You could explain it with genes for the looks, or overhearing your parents for similar saying and intelligence for the grandpa quote, but I know deep down it is more than that.  God chose what He wanted to pass down to either brighten our lives, or enrich the lives of others.  He gave us those gifts as well as the ones he chosen for us, and it is our duty to share all of them with the world, so the memory and lives of our loved ones who have moved up are never forgotten.

    

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Communication

Before I step up on my social rant box and release some steam about communication I thought I'd give you a lil tease of whats to come this month.  First of all I officially declare April the month of love for my blog because it's a month before my anniversary :), and also there is just so much you can write about such a wonderful thing.  The plan is to have blogs about: the moment you know, past loved ones that have moved on, distance, and ********(in all honestly I have no idea what the last one will be).  Also one or two poems in between about love and the lessons it teaches us.  Now let's start ranting now that I have set up my homework for the month.



Side note this song should be called text me maybe!

I feel sorry for our generation and future generations for a few reasons, but the one I'm going to touch on most is the devolution of communication.  We are constantly connected to each other technologically don't get me wrong, but what is missing now is the human touch of communication.  And I'm not saying I'm innocent of not doing any of the things that piss me off, but what pisses me off is I partake in them, which in a way makes it seem I'm ok with it, but deep down it saddens me I do it.  

First of all the text message.  I abuse this more than anything because it is so easy to send out a quick text, then it is to call someone because one they can't answer the phone, or two you are just being lazy.  Usually it's a double dose of both.  It seems the phone call has been downgraded to appointment making, stupid question asking (work I'm looking at you!), or holiday relative talk.  I'll be honest if I get a phone call I will hit ignore sometimes then text them whats up, because it's so much easier to respond that way, and then there's not that awkwardness that seems to be lingering in phone calls.  When's the last time you made a call to a friend, before you texted them.  Usually the order is text first wait ten minutes, text again, then finally call.  If we made that phone call first chances are we might get a text back saying I'm in school and I'll call you when I'm done, or something along that nature.  But no we skip to the easy way, and result to the personal way only in desperation, and not the other way around.  

Now cell phones, it seems everyone today has a cell phone, and I swear the other day I saw a toddler ordering clothes for herself on Babys R Us on her Iphone.  Cell phones have ruined now personal communication.  Before if you hung out with a friend, before the invention of the cell phone, you actually hung out with them, not spent half the time checking your phone, or texting your other friends who haven't taken the time out at that moment to hang out with you.  The only exception I see is if you are texting a friend who is supposed to be meeting up to hang out, and you are wondering where he is at, but if thats the case CALL!  Because if he's driving to meet you at the movies, he shouldn't be texting to respond, because you might cause him to get a ticket which will make him even later, so call!  Also kids now a days will never realize the horror of calling their crushes house and having their parents answer the phone, and then quickly gain the ability to come up with a quick white lie and say you are calling to see if she got the homework assignment in math class.  Those calls helped build confidence and strong communication skills, and the beginning of awkward silences on phone calls.  But not only that you also perfected the trick of picking up the phone and listening to conversations on the other line without anyone noticing ninja style, unless you breathed too hard, or mom was yelling at you take out the garbage.  Then came the yelling of DANE!!! over the phone, sorry Sis I love you!!!!  With everyone having cell phones that eliminates that crucial part of growing up.

Now Facebook!  Before you go off on me saying I'm on Facebook a lot please hear me out.  One I love facebook for the ability to share with all your friends, and some I only see online or once in a while at work.  But also I love how I have become friends with someone who once tried to fight me, and I think without Facebook that wouldn't be possible.  Online social media gives you the option to post things you wouldn't have guts to say in real life, whether it be you don't want to sound coming off cheesy, or it might be because you have the option to delete it and change it if people get pissed off about your opinion.  If you say something to a person chances are they usually will remember what you said.  The chances of them remembering a status calling so and so a slut a month ago, will more than likely be forgotten, due to peoples huge news streams!  But if you call Suzy a slut to someones face, they have the option of saying you said to my face Suzy is a slut and I was there.  Also with how fast social media can spread a rumor that would take a school day to get around now has the ability to get around in seconds.  For example if you post, Tim cheated on Suzy (I don't hate Suzy's I swear) with Tony, you now have to fires started.  One Tim is a cheating scumbag, and Tim and Tony are now both out of the closet.  This could spread instantaneously now, but back in the day before the invention of social media it get around a little bit to people realize Suzy started the rumor to get back at Tom because he dumped her for cheating on him.  Lesson that is hopefully learned here is learn the truth before spreading it.


That pic pretty much explains communication, and I might add it says Call not text.  So here's my challenge to you, and I will take up this challenge too.  Put down the phone when you are with friends.  If you see that little light blinking saying you have a notification or hear the Zelda sound go off (my phone), don't check it right away and respond (unless its the wife, then do or suffer the consequences!).  That text, facebook comment, email ain't going anywhere, but the time someone has put aside to hang out with you has.


p.s. Do notes even get passed in class anymore!!!  And if not another crucial moment of growing up has died ! :(