Thursday, July 3, 2014

The Sky


Look up and tell me what you see.
Do you notice the birds soaring without a care so free.
Or does your mind dive in deep thoughts as deep as the sea.
Searching for hopes, dreams, or hints of our destiny.
Guidance on becoming who we were born to be.

Their is beauty in the blue of the day and the black of night.
Constantly asking if the whole world thinks we are wrong, we might actually be right.
Giving the battleground for the sun and moon to finally fight.
Wanting to go up in the clouds but too afraid of the height.
Can't help of everything you have to get down and write.

If you are lucky you might catch sight of a shooting star.
Off in the distance, it doesn't seem to far.
Asking for strength and the will power to heal from a scar.
We all have dreams and wishes doesn't matter who you are.

The sky holds many secrets that it will never tell.
It is the gateway to heaven, and the fence for hell.
Always on the lookout for angels that have fell.
Some land in our laps, and others we ignore even when they yell.
And some sadly are to afraid to come out of their shell.

Everyday I look to the sky.
For guidance on becoming the guy.
Praying to be high enough in the world without needing to fly.
It has witnessed every smile and every cry.
Every success and failure every time I found the courage to try.
And will every day until the day we die.


Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Climb



Pull up in your car.
You stop and look up.
See the top of the mountain.
Doubt kicks in telling you it's too high.
The heart disagrees and knows you can.
Step out of your car and plug yourself into the zone.
Guitars blaring.
Drums beating.
Lyrics being thrown left and right.
Getting you into the zone.
One day.
One page.
One step at a time.

The journey starts.
Admiring the beauty.
Lizards crawling.
Butterflys fluttering.
The chirping of birds.
Constantly looking back to see how far you've gone.
And then forward to see how much you have left.
You can see the top.
But still unsure if you will make it there.
You are not alone on your quest.
People passing you going up and heading back down.
Some are friendly so you wave.
Most wave back.
A few ignore.
Fellow people of all different sizes and shapes.
Running, jogging, and walking.
All with the same goal.
Getting to the top.
One day.
One page.
One step at a time.

You are almost at the top.
Look up at the mountain and see the ledge.
The cliff that tells the world you made it.
Where you can over everything you accomplished and scream.
I did it.
Say thank you to all who supported you.
Or throw a middle finger up to those who laughed at you.
Mocked you.
Ridiculed you.
You are so close and fatigue kicks in.
You mind telling you have come far enough.
You have nothing else to prove.
Just be proud you came this far.
Most people never make it this close.
You're tired its ok to go home.
Contemplate for a moment.
Your soul finally speaks up.
Get your ass in gear and reach the top.
You have higher mountains to climb.
One day.
One page. 
One step at a time.

You made it.
Looking over the world.
Seeing where you have started.
Realizing how far you have traveled.
You want to scream I did it.
But you don't.
You respect the moment.
Enjoy the silence.
The peace that encompasses the scenery.
Knowing that we all have mountains to climb.
Big and small.
Take a mental image.
This is only the beginning.
Look behind you.
There are bigger mountains to climb.
And you will.
One day.
One page.
One step at at time...

Monday, May 19, 2014

Open Mic



Open Mic

This is me with an open mic.
Bound to say things that people won't like.
But a lot of stuff has happened and I have been quiet.
While the inside of me enforcing a riot.
I've fucked up things so left there is no need to go right.
My mind is always in a never ending fight.
The voices and demons in my head have grown.
They have become full fledged monsters that that world has never known.
Afraid to face my biggest fear.
That I have been spending all my time writing a story the world doesn't want to hear.
Trying to live live life with every ounce of good.
Not speaking up when I know I should.
Constantly being knocked down to the ground.
Getting up, dusting myself, and going on with my day without a sound.
Struggling day after day trying to keep up a secret identity.
Never stop finding out the lies and truths of me.
Praying that the angels have not walked away.
Desperately looking for any sign that they did stay.
Constantly looking for reminders that I'm on the right track of the plan.
Determined to grow up and be the best man.
Having a head full of dreams.
Is not what it always seems.
Always aiming higher than anyone else's sights.
Even though you are deathly afraid of heights.
Hater's will hate and talk shit behind your back.
It's only because they are afraid of a full frontal attack.
When you are fulling running your A game.
Life will always change and never stay the same.
At night afraid to close my eyes.
So the monsters in my head can continue their lies.
Petrified to actually go to sleep.
So their claw will cut, and they will cut deep.
Only to wake up the next day.
To have the exact same battle, in the exact same way.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

The Secret

I know its been a while since a good old fashioned blog.  It's been poem after poem, after poem.  So if you have missed the blogs well here's one for you, and if you miss the poem posts well I might have one up my sleeve pretty soon.


I bought a book a few weeks ago called the Secret and it changed my mind about how I was thinking lately, but then I realized something while reading it.  I was reading my own blog, but a published version of it and one that has a made a ton of money.   If you don't believe me just read the book and let me know what you think.  Apparently I have known the Secret, but I have been choosing to ignore the power of it for too long.  Basically in a nutshell, expect good things and good things will happen.  Expect bad things, and guess what shit storm.  But I learned a lesson in that, you just can't think they are going to happen, you must believe it with every inch of your heart and your soul.  The universe will move mountains if you believe it can, and dreams can come true.

While we are on dreams I haven't believed in dreams coming true for too long, until I realized I'm living a half of my dream right now, being a father.  We were told there was no chance in hell we were going to get pregnant, but apparently God heard our prayers and knew of our dreams to become parents, and moved mountains to make it happen.  Being a father was something I have always dreamed of being.  The dad who takes his kids to baseball games, scout activities, father daughter dates, and all the other wonderful thing that go along with being a daddy.  The dad who ran at the speed of life and wished there was more time to spend with his kids. That's who I wanted to be, and who I have become mostly.  I pray I'm the dad who kids are always proud to point out to all their friends, but at the same time they won't have too because everyone knows me.  

Everyone in the world can tell you that they love you, but if you don't tell yourself that those words fall on deaf ears, and are blocked out by the walls that were build through the hatred you have built up within yourself.  I've been lost for too long trying to run from my problems or hide them, but the shitty thing about personal problems, is that you can never run away from them.  They are in your mind, and where ever you run your mind will follow.  And running from them only makes them worse, trust me I know this.  So I decided to shut myself out for little bit, and stop putting on a mask of happiness, until I found it again.  I found it by doing what I love doing spending time with my family, and writing.  I haven't been to the gym in a long time though because I know my heart and soul isn't ready for that yet, but hopefully come Monday it will be back into it.  

Speaking of my heart and soul not being in anything lately, I was told that the fire went out in me a little bit ago,  And the truth is, it didn't go out, too many pissed in it and put it out.  Going through the motions of life is no way to live life, because you never do anything new in life and therefore never learn anything new.  Never grow any stronger, in fact you become weaker from the lack of not using the muscles we grow by living.  Then you become bored, and bitter.  Bored from doing the same thing over, and over, and then becoming bitter with yourself when there is no change.  Bitterness turns to anger and then rage.  Then comes the finger pointing and you point your finger at everyone else in the world, but at yourself.  The only person who can piss out your own fire is you, and on the flip side you are ultimately the only person who can pour the gas on it so it never goes out.


Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Complete Tired Hero

Part 1:

What happens when a hero walks away.
Gets burnt out from saving the day.
Just walks off into the sunset without a word to say.
Tired of saving a world that doesn't want to be saved.

If he chose to hang up his cape.
Put away the mask. 
Blend in with the rest.
With no longer a symbol on his chest.
Who then would step up to be the best.

If the hero decided he no longer wanted to fly.
Would you still look up to the sky?
Would the concept of a hero die?
People would signal and he would not come.
The crowd would shout help.
Still he would not come.
His heart is tired and worn down.
He cannot wear a fake smile, only half of a frown.

For the hero ultimately is teaching a lesson to you.
A lesson that is tired and very true. 
When the going gets tough, the tough get through.
And the person who will ultimately save the world is you.

Part 2:
The Cape

Destiny has pulled me here yet again.
By the constant urging of family and friends.
I pick up the mask and the cape.
Silently cursing the winds of fate.

I remember the exact time I chose to walk away.
It was the most intense battle we ever fought that day.
Memories of the victories and good times flash through my head.
As well as the losses and inescapable visions of mindless bloodshed.
We each won a few of the battles, but they won the war.
The heroes wanted it bad, the villains wanted our destruction even more.
We had no choice but to wave the white flag of defeat.
After hearing children screaming and crying in the street.
Looking at their heroes with tear stained eyes.
Asking us why did we let so many people die.

The sky was black and there was no sun.
That was the only sign the villains needed to know they had won.
The world found out that day that yes even heroes shed tears.
And even though we rarely show it we still have our darkest fears.
  So many punches were thrown.
Too much hatred had grown.
They found a found away to fill us with so much anger.
That we had no choice but to become our own dopple-ganger.
They exposed to me what I didn't want to see.
That the demons and evil were deep within me.

The world knows we need heroes, but the villain they love.
They showed me deep down I no longer belonged up above.
The villains tricked the world into believing heroes are not real.
The very spirit and essence of the hero they did kill.
People stopped staring into the dark violent sky.
Hoping to see proof that man can actually fly.
The sad truth they started to believe the lie.
Heroes had a silent death.
No one heard their last breath.

After too many years being locked in my own prison.
I have been finally given a purpose, a reason.
It's time to stand up for the person who has lost his will.
Showing the world that there are heroes still.
Looking at the cape I see a few hole and some tiny blood stains.
Displaying so much hurt and pains.
The capes color is faded and the edges are torn.
As I hold it in my hands I feel a hero being reborn.
I put on the mask and look in the mirror.
The future right now couldn't any more clearer.
The time has come for a heroes victory.
I know deep down I have it in me.
To take out the villains one by one.
There's no where they can hide, and no where to run.

After I am victorious which I know I will be.
The world living in fear and pain will now finally be free.
I will be finally be able to put away this mask and cape.
Store it the worlds strongest safe
Using my own strength to crush the key.
Knowing finally I am free.
Loving the sound of the click on the lock.
Then I know deep down I can finally walk.
Walking away with my cape and mask permanently on the shelf.
Knowing in my heart we can all save ourselves...

Part 3:
Revenge

The hero standing in the mirror is an unexplainable sight.
A here ready not to go down without a fight.
Laces up his boots and they hit the floor.
Dying to kick down the villains door.
Goes out and looks up to the sky.
Mother Nature knows that today someone is going to die.
Trying to decide if he should arrive by ground or by air.
Either way he's hoping the result is no one knows he's there.
Until it's to late.
And he's already halfway destroying their place.
He takes off extremely fast.
Praying to God that his only failure will be left in the past.
He craves victory.
He demands revenge.

He runs through the door with a giant blast.
Locked and loaded ready to kick some ass.
The first nameless thug throws the first punch and the hero ducks.
At this exact moment our hero realizes his battle plan really sucks.
Punching though mindless monotonous thugs again and again.
Wondering when this pointless battle warm ups would end.
Almost as if Satan himself answered his call.
A giant massive villain carrying a massive ax entered the hall.
Our hero know his fighting skills were rusty and unreliable.
But sadly there were the only skills our hero has available.
Our hero smiles and beckons to the giant to come.
The giant mocks our hero and laughs, this is going to be fun.
He craves victory.
He demands revenge.

Our hero has to think of a plan of attack quick.
Before the only thing that is sticking out of his body is the ax's stick.
The hero runs toward the giant and disarms him of the ax.
Turning around instantly and with all his strength he has in him, picks him and breaks his back.
The giant writhing and screaming in pain.
The hero says to him, never forget my name.
Our hero walks further down the hall and sees a door covered in gold.
Thinking to himself this getting kind of old.
With all his might he punches the door down.
Totally unaware of all the other villains around.
The evil mastermind sits unphased at his chair.
Trying desperately to give off the vibe he doesn't care.
He craves victory.
He demands revenge.

The villains who were waiting in the room make a plan to rush.
With the adrenaline pumping in our heroes veins he manages to crush.
Every single villains hopes and dreams.
By destroying everyone of them and all they can do is run off and scream.
Our hero points to the mastermind and tells him he's next.
This is the moment our hero has waited for to prove he is the best.
The mastermind gets out of chair and bellows to our hero,
You are a failure, a nothing, just a pathetic zero.
The villain comes out of nowhere and throws a lands a punch.
Our heroes nose has no other option but to crunch.
The villain laughs knowing his blow hit his mark.
For a second our heroes sight goes dark.
He craves victory,
He demands revenge.

The villain sees this as an opportunity and uppercuts him through the window.
Our hero goes down which is the only he can go.
He dives head first into a car.
Leaving blood everywhere and the start of a scar.
A crowd gathers near.
From all the violence and commotion they hear.
The villain jumps down from his lair.
Begging the hero to try something if he dares.
Our hero pulls himself up with all his might.
Showing the world he came for a fight,
The fight goes by blow by blow.
How it would end no would know.
He craves victory.
He demands revenge.

With each punch, kick, throw the fight seemed closer to the end.
And out of nowhere they would start again.
Neither party wanted to give.
They both were willing to kill so the other would live.
 Then out of nowhere the villain got the upper hand.
He has the hero pinned  to the cold hard land.
He tells the hero at least you tried,
But now it is way past the time you should of died.
The crowd watched in shock as they witnessed the heroes death.
And took his last breath.
But that sight stirred up something within.
And they all turned on the villain.
He craves victory.
He demands revenge.

The spectators had enough of the villains tyranny.
And everyone watching now craved victory,
They all wanted revenge.
They all knew the death of hero they had to avenge.
They all crowded the villain and took turns with punches and kicks.
And made sure each strike they let out sticked.
The death of the hero sparked the spirit of the hero within.
The battle our hero lost, but the war he did win,
He is now at peace watching from above.
His heart is now filled with peace and with love.
That day he saw a new breed of hero begin.
And the reign of the villains end.
He finally  get his victory.
He finally got his revenge. 



Part 4: 
Prologue


The sky is black and full of rain.
God's way of showing He feels the same pain.
Knowing the world lost a hero to villain's reign.
Never walking on this Earth again.
Giving heaven one more angel to gain.

Friends, family, and strangers all gather around the grave.
People he knew and people he didn't from the city he was born to save.
His heart, his soul, his life for the people he gave.
On his tombstone a saying was engraved.
Here lies a hero who died being brave.

The Priest talks about his storied past.
Knowing deep in his heart that our hero's blind eye to injustice wouldn't last.
Arriving when we needed him there in a miraculous blast.
Cape on, mask on, ready to kick some ...
And as soon as he came he was taken just as fast.

A man died and a hero was born.
From two different identities he was torn.
His cape was bloody, trashed, and worn.
As it laid on the casket while the rest of us mourn.
 Leaving the world in a division of love and scorn.

Now this where the hero lies.
A man who never wanted to forgotten when he dies.
The kind of person who was there for the lows and highs.
Was there always for a laugh or a shoulder for the cries.
But most importantly a hero that has taught us never to stop looking up in the skies.

Becoming a hero was always a part of his destiny.
The people he saved, the family he's leaving, are all part of his legacy.
He always saw deep down what other's couldn't see.
There's a hero in you, and there's a hero in me.
Daring us everyday to put on a cape and let ourselves to be free.

He died a man never backing down from a fight.
Never blurring the lines between what was wrong, and what was right.
Taking down every thing he could with all his might.
Just so we could all sleep safe at night.
Making a whole cities future always bright.

He was a man who gave his blood, tears, and his sweat.
A man watches off in the distance walking away with the sunset.
Shadow of a cape in the wind begging they don't forget.
About the hero that lived and died, and they all met.
Able to live a life in peace knowing he has paid his own personal debt.




A tired hero Part 4: Prolouge


A Tired Hero
Part 4: Prologue

The sky is black and full of rain.
God's way of showing He feels the same pain.
Knowing the world lost a hero to villain's reign.
Never walking on this Earth again.
Giving heaven one more angel to gain.

Friends, family, and strangers all gather around the grave.
People he knew and people he didn't from the city he was born to save.
His heart, his soul, his life for the people he gave.
On his tombstone a saying was engraved.
Here lies a hero who died being brave.

The Priest talks about his storied past.
Knowing deep in his heart that our hero's blind eye to injustice wouldn't last.
Arriving when we needed him there in a miraculous blast.
Cape on, mask on, ready to kick some ...
And as soon as he came he was taken just as fast.

A man died and a hero was born.
From two different identities he was torn.
His cape was bloody, trashed, and worn.
As it laid on the casket while the rest of us mourn.
 Leaving the world in a division of love and scorn.

Now this where the hero lies.
A man who never wanted to forgotten when he dies.
The kind of person who was there for the lows and highs.
Was there always for a laugh or a shoulder for the cries.
But most importantly a hero that has taught us never to stop looking up in the skies.

Becoming a hero was always a part of his destiny.
The people he saved, the family he's leaving, are all part of his legacy.
He always saw deep down what other's couldn't see.
There's a hero in you, and there's a hero in me.
Daring us everyday to put on a cape and let ourselves to be free.

He died a man never backing down from a fight.
Never blurring the lines between what was wrong, and what was right.
Taking down every thing he could with all his might.
Just so we could all sleep safe at night.
Making a whole cities future always bright.

He was a man who gave his blood, tears, and his sweat.
A man watches off in the distance walking away with the sunset.
Shadow of a cape in the wind begging they don't forget.
About the hero that lived and died, and they all met.
Able to live a life in peace knowing he has paid his own personal debt.


Thursday, February 13, 2014

What I learned in Cub scouts...




What I have learned in cub scouts, well the list is quite long.
I learned and sang many cub scout songs.
I was taught what was right, and I was taught what was wrong.
We did jumping jacks, sit-ups, and push-ups so we became strong.
We played flag football on fellow scouts lawns.
Saw many different animals, bugs, fishes, birds and even a fawn.
With my scout friends is where I belong.

Wasn't sure if I wanted to join but my parents told me I should.
I experienced many things I never though I would.
For a good deed we went around putting bags for the food-bank in our neighborhood.
The leaders taught lessons until they were sure we understood.
Whenever I attempted something new I was better than good.
We traveled to places where past explorers once stood.
I even carved a race-car out of a block of wood.

When we went camping I saw a shooting star and made a wish.
We cooked and I made my first dutch oven dish.
When we hiked down to the lake and took our poles I caught a fish.
At night we sat around the campfire telilng stories that were scariesh.
And we played basketball and I made the net go swish.

We did so many different things that were fun.
They even let us shoot a BB gun.
If we had a lot of energy our leader just told us one thing, RUN!
Played a variety of fun games and sometimes I won.
Saw my father having loads of good times with his son.
I was scared I wouldn't make any friends, not a one.
In reality I didn't meet a few, I made a ton.

We learned about other famous scouts like past presidents.
Baseball players, astronauts, doctors, scientists, and the guy that created the Muppets.
We made the whole crowd cheer and laugh when we performed our skit.
And screamed with delight as we launched our model rocket.
When I started scouts I promised I would never quit.
Those are the values that came with my blue outfit.

But most important I learned to DO YOUR BEST!