Now that I have all of that out of my system, and all will be calm after Saturday, I have had a poem in the back of my head for a few weeks. Cooking little by little, changing organically, basically having more and more of a meaning to me. It's inspired by a poem If by Rudyard Kipling, yes the guy that wrote the Jungle Book, which is also a great book! Reading that poem inspired all these thoughts, and I believe that is the true definition of inspiration, to breed new inspiration so inspiration never dies! With that I give you If:
If...
If we all thought before we spoke would there be silence.
If we all know time is so valuable why do we waste so much of it.
If we know that happiness is choice then why do we choose the opposite.
If we see something wrong why are we scared to say something.
If we know what causes others pain why do we continue to do it.
If we know what hate creates then why do we still allow it to continue.
If we all know how powerful love is why is there so little of it.
If we know the world needs heroes why do we stop believing.
If we know we are winners in whatever we finish why do so many of us quit.
If we know the demons in our head are just figments why do we give in to their demands.
If we know its our job to take care of our world why do so many of us slack at it.
If we all know how bad wars are why do we let them begin.
If we know how hateful our words are why do we still say them.
If we know the truth why do we say the opposite,
If we all had a hand to hold.
A hug from a friend,
A kind hello.
A sincere smile.
The truth.
No Fear.
The world would be a better place.
Not just the world but our own personal world.
If we all know this is true.
Then why the hell haven't we done anything to change it!
I'm not sure writing a blog after working 14 hours at the Cheese and closing cash on top of that, and with having the week I just had is a good idea. I don't I think it is a good idea, I think it is the best idea! They say you will speak the greatest speech you will ever regret when your angry, and currently now there is a lot of anger, and if I had gamma rays in me I might turn into the Hulk, literally! Smashing everything in sight which would be cathartic at first, but I feel bad about the damage afterwards because that's the kind of person I am. A caring person or so I think so. Sometimes too much! Which leads me to the subject of this blog, the kind of person I have always rooted for, the teams that I will always root for, ultimately the kind of person I feel I am, the underdog!
First place has never been a name associated with me in anything really. I may be the favorite of something, but when it comes down to it, I'm still not first, I'm second! Being in second place your whole life makes you see things a lot differently, bitterly and optimistically in my eyes. Second place is the closest I have ever gotten to victory in sports, work, and even in life. I could retell my homecoming story here but I've told it to many times this week already, and yes after all those years have passed the pain still stings a little. Coming in at second means you gave it 120% and still came up short, might be a little, but still you weren't good enough in the long run, which might be okay with some people, but me personally I'm tired of looking at first place and wondering what it feels like. I'm tired of always getting the short end of the stick, just because it seems like my place in life is to always be second.
They say its not if you win or lose, it' how you play the game. Truth of the matter is that is BS! Who gets paid more, champions! Yeah its fun, but it's more fun for the people who always win! The champions who it seems to always have the red carpet thrown out for them, and all obstacles cleared for them so they can always be champions! If they hear the word no they think it's a foreign word, because the only thing they are used to hearing is yes and always seems to boil down to their way, no matter the situation. While the people behind them stare wondering why do the cards always line up for them. What makes them so special that they never get the rug pulled out from under them, and whenever I get close to the prize I always trip while they skip to victory, not bothering to help a fallen man. Thirty plus years of coming up short makes one humble, thirty plus years of helping out others than yourself, always doing what's best for others in the long run, builds humility! Something that most champions lack, but the underdog has an over abundance of!
The world needs underdogs though, because it makes some people feel good to cheer on someone you know has no chance of winning, when you have already bet on the winner. I know who has rooted me on my whole life and I know win or lose they will always be in my corner. They always comfort me when I fall up short and tell me it will be okay, and always tell me next time, you'll get it next time. Hundreds of next times later and guess what I still haven't got it! But what I do have is loyalty from the ones always in my corner. But when I do win, and yes I will win others will follow suit, because people like to flock to champions, and lie saying they believed in them all the time when the underdog becomes the winner! When that day comes I will keep my friends that were always there for me by my side, and the bandwagoners can stay on the sidelines, because that's where they have been this whole time! The only reason I can think why I'm still an underdog is because I have a little more to learn, or put in if you must to become a champion. Because God knows deep down they day I start winning there is no way I'm going back to just being an underdog!
I made a promise to myself I would never post anything negative on my blog, but I have realized without any negative there is no reason and no chance of positive. In a way they need each other to both exist. Same as hate and love, one word I hate and the other brings so much joy to so many aspects of my life, and since I've only wrote about love I think I have to be balanced and write about hate as well. First of all if you are offended by foul language skip this blog, because there's no other way to get the point through with out using it. With that being said I give you: Hate
I hate the word hate, and I hate using that word because of how powerful it actually is. Hate has caused many deaths in the past, to much, and yet it gets thrown around like it means nothing, kinda like love has. People say they love just about anything which negates the true meaning, and same thing as hate. The way I I define hate is having no chance of having anything positive to say about anything, and to me that is one of the scariest things ever. Hating someone because of sexual orientation, skin color, gender, religion or any other reason is in my eyes is beyond definition. We are all human, sure we may be different, but what gives us that right to hate someone else for petty differences. It doesn't and we do it to many times through out our life.
Before you think I'm crazy and say hey what about all the bitches and assholes in our life that we all have (see the language warning), is it ok to hate them? The answer to that is simple is ask yourself why people are like that. The word Why can unveil a lot about people, and if we ask a simple why, we might find out why they act the way they do. Who knows maybe their whole life they were treated horribly and see the world as a horrible place so they treat others in accordance. So they are paying it forward to how they were treated because that's the only way they've been treated their life. Which is completely wrong to me but to some people it just seems to come naturally. Some of our biggest battles are silent among people, they might realize and not care what they are doing, or they know what they are doing and don't give a rats ass. So the best way to deal with bitches and assholes is to be as nice as possible to them and see if they change, and if they don't well you tried, wash your hands of them, brush them off and go off living. Don't let their hate poison you, because poison can spread and kill the love within for others.
There are bullies through out our life, when we are young and when we grow older sadly. Sometimes they have a name, sometimes they have your voice, and sometimes you may even be the bully. My whole life I have been bullied by actual bullies in my youth so bad my sister had to come to my rescue. Which was embarrassing then, and still it is to admit it now, but I know my sister meant well, and I love you sis for doing that. But now my biggest bully is inside my mind. It's a bully that says no matter how hard I will never amount to anything, because I' m not special enough. Or it's telling me to keep looking the mirror fattie and put on that bikini top to hide those man boobs, no matter how hard I work out. Its a voice that tells me at night give up trying to write, because you have given up every other time you have tried before. Some of those voices are fueled by past and previous experiences, and others are simply talking shit. People talk and talk not realizing that words hurt more than they know, or they do and they don't care. What they say about stick and stones are lies because you can heal from being beat with sticks, but emotional scars from words being flung are a lot harder to heal from.
So in conclusion, I hate the word hate! I only actually hate one person, and that person is dead, so I'm not going to waste anymore time on that. I strongly dislike a lot of people, but the more I think about it I feel sorry that they are not giving me a chance to like them. I want to believe we are all good people in this world deep down, but there are a few in this world that are put here to test how strong our hearts really are. Maybe the good people of this world are put here on this world to devenomize the poison that the not so nice people spew with their hatred in words and actions, or maybe God put them here to show us there is a reason to be good, because if your not you end up like that. I just know I'm done letting the poison of hatred get in my heart from now on, and walking away from the bullshit hatred breeds.
It's been a while since a good old fashioned blog. Not a quick poem. or a posting of what I spend my spare time doing, my book. But a good old fashioned blog where I pour my heart and let off what has been on my chest for way to long. Some might need it. and others will hopefully store this when they will, because I know for a fact there comes a time when we all need heroes.
The heroes we need!
I talk a lot about super heroes, and this blog will be no exception. There comes days where lack of a better term it all goes to Hell. Day's where nothing goes right. You wake up on the wrong side of the bed, and smack your head on the nightstand. You get in your car and realize theres a flat. You check your bank account and it is so close to negative the bank has you on speed dial to tell you about the upcoming overdraft charge. The days where it rains all day and you see sunshine in everybody elses, and feel like the big man upstairs is conspiring against you to see how much you can take, and you just want to scream up to the heavens, I QUIT! I've had enough! You win I'm not as strong as you thought I was going to be. These are the days where we need heroes to save us, a friend to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, or just someone to be there for you. You need your own superhero to help come save the day of shit you just had, and sometimes the hero that you have been seeking has been in you the whole time.
Heroes come in many forms it could be a conversation when ones needed. a person to vent to, a friend to drive you home, or a person who never gives up on you, even if you have given up on yourself many times in the past. These are the realest heroes that we will ever meet. Everyday we are battling life, some days we are winning, and others we are losing an uphill battle. The important thing is to never lay down and give up fighting. The reason why is because someone might look to you as a hero, and if they see their hero lie down and take it, it shows them there is no hope, so why try. The truest definition of defeat is quitting without even trying. Sooner or later the battle you have been waging will turn in your favor, and its up to you see that turning point and strike when you can. Whether it be a door that is sudden open, a truth that sheds some light on the dark days, or some other sign from God. When these happen you must take them, because they come once in a lifetime, and chances are if you don't take them when you can, they are not coming back, and you will lose the battle in the end.
This day of age we need heroes more now than ever. Don't believe our society is surrounded by super heros. Wal-mart is selling super hero t shirts. and it is now more than ever acceptable to be who you are. You might be a nerd, hipster, slacker, gay, straight, religious, it doesn't matter because the world is finally realizing to a point that we are all human, and we all need each others help to survive. We all need heroes and we all need to be heroes for others. If you are not a hero, then why should someone else be. If you are not willing to give up your time for others, to help someone else out that isn't yourself, you have no right to ask for help in return.. No right at all! We all need someone to talk to, someone to love, someone to console with, someone to hug, hell someone just to sit with us and stare at the wall as we contemplate life. If you are not willing to be that person for someone else, then you will have a sad life.
Each morning my kids ask me if super heroes are real. And I tell them yes, because it is my goal in life to prove to them that heroes are real. And they are locked inside all of us, we just have to let them out. I surprised my kids today by taking to go see Iron Man in the theater, and the face that was on Brod's face was priceless. He had a solemn look on his face when he had a surprise, more of bored wonderment, and then I dropped the surprise on him. That we were going to go see Iron Man at the movies, and his face lighted up brighter than it does on Christmas, all because he got to see a real super hero in action, granted it was fake, but it was one step closer than just playing super heros in the living room with his brother and sister. As kids we want to believe in heroes, but as adults we have been tricked into believing them to be fantasy. and in a way that means the villains have won. The second we stop believing in heroes, santa, easter bunny, and ourselves is the day a part of us dies. The part of us that knows that everything will be right in the end. The part we need to survive this crazy world.
So in closing, thank you for being a hero to me in the past and I know for a fact in the future. We all need heroes, and some of us are to blind to realize it. When that happens is when we are given a reality check to see if our heroes are still there. and if that happens to you or someone you love please step up and be a hero.
Because we all need heroes!
