Life is full of very important moments, but the moments that stand out are the ones that change you drastically/ For instance that moment you graduate and start your dream job (still hasn't happened yet for me), that moment you become a parent (one I will never forget), and that moment you fall in love and realize this person is the one (the moment that made me who I am). Many people ask couples at what moment did you realize that this person was the one. Now I can't speak for others, but I can tell you mine. The single moment that let me know my wife was the one was when I realized I was dating my best friend and I realized I would be blessed if I was able to spend the rest of my life with her. My mom knew from the beginning of us dating for two reasons, one I never waited by the window for any of the other dates I went on (i still remember sitting on the gray couch in the living room waiting for her to pull up.), and two my mom said I quote, I really like Abbey. And if I tell you how my mom said it my mom would kill me. Love you mom!
When we grow up we tell our children certain moments or memories about our previous life before kids to describe what love was when it was young. That first kiss we had as a couple. The little surprises here and there. Your wedding, and the safe parts of the honeymoon ;). Because children are curious about who we were before they came along, and those moments are what makes you grow and love grow stronger when you get older. I remember every single detail of our first kiss. For one reason it was my last first kiss with anyone else, and I knew that moment as soon as our lips parted she was the one. I don't believe in love at first sight, the only thing I believe in is love because moments. The moments we will never forget and make live on in a daily basis.
The thing about moments is you can't force them. That's what people don't realize. If love isn't moving forward naturally move on, because if you force it becomes a lie. When life full of great moments it is very important to help relive them. By sharing them, or trying to recreate them. You will never have that magic of the first kiss again, so it's up to you to make the next one even better. Every kiss has the opportunity to knock socks off and takes breathes away, but only if you put your full heart and soul into it, which every kiss with your true love should have. Make a new moment every chance you get, because every new moment is a chance at a new great story to tell later down the road.
We all have loved ones we have lost parents, siblings, grandparents, relatives, friends and etc. And when they are taken from you at that time you usually question Why! Why them? Why did You take them away from me? I know because I've asked that question to many times in my life, and never really got an answer until a week ago, well in actuality I was probably given the answer years ago, but never fully understood it. Before we go any further I'm going to lay it out on the line that I will not touch on religion and if you are or are not a religion you won't go to heaven, (i've been told that a few times :P). I just laugh at those people because I believe deep down if you are a good person and spend more time in your life helping others, more than helping yourself in the long run there will always be a spot for you upstairs. At least I hope so...fingers are crossed.
They say you die twice, the first time is when your heart stops, and the second is when your name is spoken or thought of for the last time. I don't buy that quote at all. The first part is a given, but I think the second part never happens. Every person in this world touches lives in a way either positively or negatively, and the way you have been affected by that person always stays with you through memories, sure they may be distant memories, but they are somewhere in your mind. Whether it be of your uncle calling you up once a week to ask you three simple questions before he talked to your Mom; 1. How's work? 2. How's the girl situation? and 3. Clog any toilets lately? Then go into detail about what he had to do get some of his down. I miss those phone calls. Or it might be your Grandpa taking you to the Funspot with your sister almost every sunday when most of the other kids were at Church to play mini golf. Those memories stay with us forever, and get passed down through us without us even realizing it, through our everyday actions, the way we act, to the way we talk, and to the people we become, eventually, and hopefully.
I was in church a few weeks ago and Father told a story about a boy who died and went to heaven, but then the doctors brought him back. His Dad asked him what was heaven like were there a lot of people there, and the child responded all he saw were children. Which brings me to two conclusions one, if we die before teenagers we're going to heaven, or two in heaven we revert to our most innocent form, child. Which if you are a parent you know most children aren't that innocent. :) But I believe that is mostly part 2 with a twist. I believe you are reverted to child like form in heaven because God reuses your best parts of you when you are alive and redistributes them to your family, to make sure that they are never forgotten. For instance my uncle had massive poops, all three of my kids clog our toilets. And my Uncle never knew a stranger and I strive to be the same way, seeing the good in people and refusing to believe that they had bad in them. I was about ten and we were sitting in my Uncles pick up in McDonald's parking lot and we saw a homeless man with a sign that said "need money", instead of my uncle giving him money he bought him a meal and gave it to him, the man then threw it in the trash and moved on, my Uncle smiled and got in the car and drove off. And we never talked about it on the way home. Because I believe he just wanted to forget the negative response he just received and move on. And that's what he did.
The funny thing about life and death is one always follows the other. After life comes death hopefully way far down the road, but ones where it is unexpected and sudden I believe that is His way of giving a gut check showing us how life is so precious and not to waste it. So the Why? I finally understood of why He takes people from us is very simple it helps us grow and teaches us that life is precious, and to live every moment. We need to learn from their lives, and either apply what they did if they got it right, or change a few things that would needed changing to make it right. I have said in the past we are the result of our ancestors before us, how else can you explain people saying that's something your grandpa would say, or you look just like your great great grandma. You could explain it with genes for the looks, or overhearing your parents for similar saying and intelligence for the grandpa quote, but I know deep down it is more than that. God chose what He wanted to pass down to either brighten our lives, or enrich the lives of others. He gave us those gifts as well as the ones he chosen for us, and it is our duty to share all of them with the world, so the memory and lives of our loved ones who have moved up are never forgotten.
Before I step up on my social rant box and release some steam about communication I thought I'd give you a lil tease of whats to come this month. First of all I officially declare April the month of love for my blog because it's a month before my anniversary :), and also there is just so much you can write about such a wonderful thing. The plan is to have blogs about: the moment you know, past loved ones that have moved on, distance, and ********(in all honestly I have no idea what the last one will be). Also one or two poems in between about love and the lessons it teaches us. Now let's start ranting now that I have set up my homework for the month.
Side note this song should be called text me maybe!
I feel sorry for our generation and future generations for a few reasons, but the one I'm going to touch on most is the devolution of communication. We are constantly connected to each other technologically don't get me wrong, but what is missing now is the human touch of communication. And I'm not saying I'm innocent of not doing any of the things that piss me off, but what pisses me off is I partake in them, which in a way makes it seem I'm ok with it, but deep down it saddens me I do it.
First of all the text message. I abuse this more than anything because it is so easy to send out a quick text, then it is to call someone because one they can't answer the phone, or two you are just being lazy. Usually it's a double dose of both. It seems the phone call has been downgraded to appointment making, stupid question asking (work I'm looking at you!), or holiday relative talk. I'll be honest if I get a phone call I will hit ignore sometimes then text them whats up, because it's so much easier to respond that way, and then there's not that awkwardness that seems to be lingering in phone calls. When's the last time you made a call to a friend, before you texted them. Usually the order is text first wait ten minutes, text again, then finally call. If we made that phone call first chances are we might get a text back saying I'm in school and I'll call you when I'm done, or something along that nature. But no we skip to the easy way, and result to the personal way only in desperation, and not the other way around.
Now cell phones, it seems everyone today has a cell phone, and I swear the other day I saw a toddler ordering clothes for herself on Babys R Us on her Iphone. Cell phones have ruined now personal communication. Before if you hung out with a friend, before the invention of the cell phone, you actually hung out with them, not spent half the time checking your phone, or texting your other friends who haven't taken the time out at that moment to hang out with you. The only exception I see is if you are texting a friend who is supposed to be meeting up to hang out, and you are wondering where he is at, but if thats the case CALL! Because if he's driving to meet you at the movies, he shouldn't be texting to respond, because you might cause him to get a ticket which will make him even later, so call! Also kids now a days will never realize the horror of calling their crushes house and having their parents answer the phone, and then quickly gain the ability to come up with a quick white lie and say you are calling to see if she got the homework assignment in math class. Those calls helped build confidence and strong communication skills, and the beginning of awkward silences on phone calls. But not only that you also perfected the trick of picking up the phone and listening to conversations on the other line without anyone noticing ninja style, unless you breathed too hard, or mom was yelling at you take out the garbage. Then came the yelling of DANE!!! over the phone, sorry Sis I love you!!!! With everyone having cell phones that eliminates that crucial part of growing up.
Now Facebook! Before you go off on me saying I'm on Facebook a lot please hear me out. One I love facebook for the ability to share with all your friends, and some I only see online or once in a while at work. But also I love how I have become friends with someone who once tried to fight me, and I think without Facebook that wouldn't be possible. Online social media gives you the option to post things you wouldn't have guts to say in real life, whether it be you don't want to sound coming off cheesy, or it might be because you have the option to delete it and change it if people get pissed off about your opinion. If you say something to a person chances are they usually will remember what you said. The chances of them remembering a status calling so and so a slut a month ago, will more than likely be forgotten, due to peoples huge news streams! But if you call Suzy a slut to someones face, they have the option of saying you said to my face Suzy is a slut and I was there. Also with how fast social media can spread a rumor that would take a school day to get around now has the ability to get around in seconds. For example if you post, Tim cheated on Suzy (I don't hate Suzy's I swear) with Tony, you now have to fires started. One Tim is a cheating scumbag, and Tim and Tony are now both out of the closet. This could spread instantaneously now, but back in the day before the invention of social media it get around a little bit to people realize Suzy started the rumor to get back at Tom because he dumped her for cheating on him. Lesson that is hopefully learned here is learn the truth before spreading it.
That pic pretty much explains communication, and I might add it says Call not text. So here's my challenge to you, and I will take up this challenge too. Put down the phone when you are with friends. If you see that little light blinking saying you have a notification or hear the Zelda sound go off (my phone), don't check it right away and respond (unless its the wife, then do or suffer the consequences!). That text, facebook comment, email ain't going anywhere, but the time someone has put aside to hang out with you has.
p.s. Do notes even get passed in class anymore!!! And if not another crucial moment of growing up has died ! :(
I lied about the next blog post being about communication because well a poem came to me. But it will be next I promise Keisha! Then comes part 5-8 of love!! Revisiting it like last year in April with a post every week. Be prepared because I have some good stuff planned.
You!
You were born with a purpose.
With only shoes you can fill.
Dreams to be made into a reality,
Challenges to overcome.
People you are destined to help.
And others who are there to teach you lessons.
There is a reason for you!
Being the best version of you is hard I know.
I know its true.
But you are the only one who can do it,
You have all the power to become the best version of yourself.
Whether it be losing weight.
Smiling more.
Dreaming less.
Living more.
Loving life and living life.
All that power is in you.
There is a reason for you!
Others may tell you that you are insignificant/
That we as a whole are just here just because.
That is because they are here to teach us a lesson.
To listen with love and live life.
And ignore the haters, because they have the hardest time finding themselves.
With hate in your heart you only become a shadow of yourself.
With love in your heart you become a beaming light that radiates on others.
All right I got two blogs on the mind right now, the one you are about to read and another one about the devolution of communication. Both were requests from readers and both subjects I have something to say. So I hope you enjoy it :)
There are times where I wanna put all the weight down I have on my shoulders and do two things. One give it the finger, and two run away as fast as I can into the sunset and never look back. But I won't for reasons, one I'm not that kind of person who gives up on the world and others so easily, and two I only run if I'm being chased! Every day we make the choice to add things onto our plate such things as friendship, work, love, parenthood, exercising, just all around straight up life. And the way we react and handle what we put ourselves through is what defines us. I have realized every moment we live has the potential to define us, and usually its the little ones, not the big ones that have a bigger cause and effect. True story, the Cheese was supposed to be 2-3 years tops, not 8 going on 9. But that moment I said screw working for a clown, I'm going to go work for a mouse, has defined me, and fine tuned me into the person I am today. A person I am proud to be, and am proud to say I have met some of my greatest friends just from making a decision in a tiny moment.
I've been thinking a lot about strength lately, and how living life the greatest we can gives us unlimited strength. Some of the things that fatherhood have given me are strength and courage. Strength for many reasons, mainly I work out like a mad man so I can be huge by the time my daughter starts dating so I can scare her potential dates, but in all honesty being a father gives me the drive to become a stronger human being in spirit and love due to the fact you are raising a person who one day will hopefully raise one also, and continue the cycle. The never ending cycle of life and love. My kids have given me courage to become myself more and more around others, and to live life like a child with fun again, because when you get older you forget you have one life, and when you are a child all you do is live. Love makes me strong. Period dot!
We all have everyday stresses, and huge stress we put on ourselves. The simplest way to deal with it is simple, one day at a time. Laundry, dishes, chores around the house, etc... are everyday stress. Ones that need to get done, eventually. Choosing to go to school is a huge stress not only yourself but others around you as well, because quite frankly they have to deal with you while you are freaking out! But as long as you have a strong foundation in friends and family I have no doubt in my mind you won't succeed in school. Going after your dream is also a huge stress, and takes huge balls. Ones I keep looking for each day to actually sit down and just write. Truth is currently right now my fear is hiding the strength I need to put pen to paper and write my ticket to my dream. Being comfortable is good, but it's not great. If you want change in anything you must challenge yourself. The funny thing about dreams is either you live your dream, or you help others live theirs. And I am sick of helping others live their dream, because I'm to damn afraid to live mine. Also another huge stress is parenthood and that stress I'm happy to say is neverending. You are the result of how many parents before you, and your children will become a result of your parenting, as well as the parenting you had before you. And if you do a good job being a parent hopefully the infinite cycle of parenting will move on through out your family with love and success. Little everyday stresses are there to remind us we are human and have needs, the big stresses in life are there to make us stronger.
We not only get stronger in our successes but as well as our failures. I have learned so much through failure. One don't catch balls from a pitching machine without using a glove, don't play football and get tackled and have the tackling dummy fall on you, and pray to God your football coach you had before you quit doesn't become your basketball coach that same year and punishes you for quitting football. And yes all that has happened to me. The thing about all those failures is I learned something though. The same thing goes for all the writing I have started in the past and have yet to finish. I failed to finish because I did not want those to define me. You choose what defines you!! Not anyone else! As long as you learn something from failing it is no longer failing, it is now a lesson. A lesson in not what to do in the future if you want to reach success. Failure builds stress. Stress builds strength. Strength breeds success.
And some die without full understanding and utilizing each one.
Our sense of smell is very powerful.
It can make you want to leave a room and never return.
Or if you smell something you love never wanna leave.
Life is full of wonderful and hateful smells.
The scent of your love.
Brownies baking in the oven.
Fresh cut grass.
Blooming flowers.
If you do not stop and smell these.
If all you do is walk around and sniff and think you smell bull.
Life will be bull, and completely void of happiness.
We use our hands to touch and feel things.
Soft blankets.
Hard rocks.
Melted ice.
Warm hearts of our loved ones.
Icy souls of the ones who focus on the hatred of the world.
The things we touch are the ones we remember the most.
Help someone.
Love someone.
Touch a life today.
Forget the feeling of hatred.
Life can be sweet like a bowl of ice cream.
Or sour like a fresh cut lemon.
Life may be salty like fresh baked pretzel which few can only appreciate.
Or life may be bland like a bowl full of white rice.
Sweet, sour, salty, bland, and all the tastes of life have their places in life.
They teach us what we like as an individual and what we want more of.
And if you like the taste why not put yourself out there and get the full thing!
People talking.
Cars driving.
Music Blaring.
Babies laughing.
Are all normal occurring sounds day in and day out.
We hear people talk but most of the time don't fully listen.
We sit there nodding our head and occasionally smiling.
Agreeing with what they say, so we can move on to silence.
If we took the time to listen and understand, it wouldn't just be talking, it would be a conversation.
Cars driving on the road is just a symbol of man's intelligence and what we have achieved so far.
It is proof that dreams do come true.
What we call music others may not agree.
But all music deep down is art that only your ears can fully appreciate.
The sound of baby laughter is a sign of the past innocence we once had.
And something of pure happiness to work for in the future.
We have two eyes and yet a few of us die without fully seeing.
We go on day in and day out taking advantage of all the sights we see everyday.
The red headed sign waiver who stares at you while you drive by.
Old couples walking around still in love holding hands, stealing a kiss here and there.
Children looking around to see if anyone is watching them before they misbehave.
And never realizing we are always watching them whether they know it or not.
Looking at your loved ones finding more and more reasons why you love them.
Ones you didn't see before and noticing ones you may have forgotten,
If we look at everything with not only our eyes, but also our heart we then truly see the world as it should be.
Full of beauty,
Beauty everywhere.
In everything.
And everyone.
Smell.
Touch,
Taste.
Hearing.
Sight.
Some are born missing a one or a few of these.
And some die without full understanding and utilizing each one.
I was meaning to post this blog on Sunday but I was sick, so I am sorry. But when ever I seem to plan to write a blog I usually don't, but more than rather when I need to is when they come out :) And yes I know its a hello kitty cake but I thought it was CUTE!!! (ok heres a man card!)
Each year I get older I just get older, but this year I really started to analyze my life and where it's at. And trust me if your not in the right loving kind state of mind this can be a very dangerous thing to do. You will start to over analyze every little detail and keep asking yourself why you are where you at instead of looking where you are at now and be genuinely impressed with yourself. I did both and the first time I didn't do it with my heart and just compared it to what I had planned out years ago it brought me down, and brought me down hard. But then I looked at it again with an open heart and wide eyes and have realized my plan wasn't big enough.
When man makes plans, God laughs. This is my motto and I know it to be true. I'm going to take you on a little ride called Dane's life how I planned it to be, and how and why my life is 100 times better than what I had planned out. First of all I didn't plan to have kids till I was 30, and after I became a successful Hollywood writer/director. You see back in the days of my first trip though ITT I wrote a screenplay, it has 24 pages I think. I think its really funny, its super vulgar, and basically a rip off of Clerks and Mallrats combined. It was called NFS Tech (Not Film School Tech) and it was about my time at ITT with my buddies. When I was writing it I thought it was hilarious, still to this day I think it is, but it is not me. It's basically a stoner comedy, and having a guy who doesn't do drugs write a movie like that just shows how bad he is copying and is super desperate. (P.S. if you wanna read it let me know I still have it somewhere), So I stopped writing it. Instead I moved on to writing another movie called "Confessions of a Teenage Boy" which was about this teen who was dating this girl no one liked (very similiar to real life at the time) and was a total screw up, and couldn't do anything right. Well he tries to kill himself, but fails at that too and gets amnesia instead and has to learn about his life all over, and realizes he screwed up big time and rights all his wrongs. I stopped writing that one for two reasons: 1. I was becoming depressed writing it and thinking about it constantly, and 2. that same year Confessions of A Teenage Drama Queen came out with Lindsey Lohan, and I thought okay God thanks for the huge sign to stop writing and I did. For many years.
If my plan followed through like it was supposed I wouldn't know any of you reading this, and my life wouldn't be near as rich. I might of had famous friends, but getting famous friends to hang out is probably a trillion times harder. And through the time we have hung out at work, outside of work, online, or where ever I know deep down I am one the luckiest men alive because of those memories. Never take advantage of the people you meet for everyone you meet has the potential to have a huge part in your life, or a very small one. Family is there for you always and will most likely always tell you the truth, you just have to be open to listening to it. Mothers and Fathers know what they are talking about because guess what they were once kids to and they might be telling you how they reacted because it worked for them, or telling you how they wish they reacted in retrospect because it would of been a better choice in the long run. I'm just saying try opening your eyes and ears first, then open your mouth when you truly know what they are trying to tell you. And friends. I did a whole blog on friends in the past, but simply put every stranger you meet is a simple hello or hows it going away from becoming a friend. I've made a lot of close friends with that mentality, and I wouldn't change them for the world. I am truly humbled to say I have such close of friends they all feel like family to me, and to that I say thank you.
But looking back at that plan and what I have been through in the past I'm way happier where I ended up. A father of three, a husband for ten years, a son my parents can be proud of, the brother my sister deserves, and a man lucky to have everyone that he has in his life, in his life. I'm writing a book that is so me that I'm the only one who could write it, and I believe this is what God intended for me to showcase my talent for the first time, and only gave me a glimpse of it in the past, and finally let it all come to light when I was ready and realized that my life is my muse. So yes in the past I made a plan, and God laughed! Because he had something better planned for me, I just had to wait for the time, for when I was truly ready for it.
