Stress

All right I got two blogs on the mind right now, the one you are about to read and another one about the devolution of communication.  Both were requests from readers and both subjects I have something to say.  So I hope you enjoy it :)

There are times where I wanna put all the weight down I have on my shoulders and do two things.  One give it the finger, and two run away as fast as I can into the sunset and never look back.  But I won't for reasons, one I'm not that kind of person who gives up on the world and others so easily, and two I only run if I'm being chased!  Every day we make the choice to add things onto our plate such things as friendship, work, love, parenthood, exercising, just all around straight up life.  And the way we react and handle what we put ourselves through is what defines us.  I have realized every moment we live has the potential to define us, and usually its the little ones, not the big ones that have a bigger cause and effect.  True story, the Cheese was supposed to be 2-3 years tops, not 8 going on 9.  But that moment I said screw working for a clown, I'm going to go work for a mouse, has defined me, and fine tuned me into the person I am today.  A person I am  proud to be, and am proud to say I have met some of my greatest friends just from making a decision in a tiny moment.

I've been thinking a lot about strength lately, and how living life the greatest we can gives us unlimited strength.  Some of the things that fatherhood have given me are strength and courage.  Strength for many reasons, mainly I work out like a mad man so I can be huge by the time my daughter starts dating so I can scare her potential dates, but in all honesty being a father gives me the drive to become a stronger human being in spirit and love due to the fact you are raising a person who one day will hopefully raise one also, and continue the cycle.  The never ending cycle of life and love.  My kids have given me courage to become myself more and more around others, and to live life like a child with fun again, because when you get older you forget you have one life, and when you are a child all you do is live.  Love makes me strong. Period dot!

We all have everyday stresses, and huge stress we put on ourselves.  The simplest way to deal with it is simple, one day at a time.  Laundry, dishes, chores around the house, etc... are everyday stress.  Ones that need to get done, eventually.  Choosing to go to school is a huge stress not only yourself but others around you as well, because quite frankly they have to deal with you while you are freaking out!  But as long as you have a strong foundation in friends and family I have no doubt in my mind you won't succeed in school.  Going after your dream is also a huge stress, and takes huge balls.  Ones I keep looking for each day to actually sit down and just write.  Truth is currently right now my fear is hiding the strength I need to put pen to paper and write my ticket to my dream.  Being comfortable is good, but it's not great.  If you want change in anything you must challenge yourself.  The funny thing about dreams is either you live your dream, or you help others live theirs.  And I am sick of helping others live their dream, because I'm to damn afraid to live mine.  Also another huge stress is parenthood and that stress I'm happy to say is neverending.  You are the result of how many parents before you, and your children will become a result of your parenting, as well as the parenting you had before you.  And if you do a good job being a parent hopefully the infinite cycle of parenting will move on through out your family with love and success.  Little everyday stresses are there to remind us we are human and have needs, the big stresses in life are there to make us stronger.

We not only get stronger in our successes but as well as our failures.  I have learned so much through failure. One don't catch balls from a pitching machine without using a glove, don't play football and get tackled and have the tackling dummy fall on you, and pray to God your football coach you had before you quit doesn't become your basketball coach that same year and punishes you for quitting football.  And yes all that has happened to me.  The thing about all those failures is I learned something though.  The same thing goes for all the writing I have started in the past and have yet to finish.  I failed to finish because I did not want those to define me.  You choose what defines you!! Not anyone else!  As long as you learn something from failing it is no longer failing, it is now a lesson.  A lesson in not what to do in the future if you want to reach success.  Failure builds stress.  Stress builds strength. Strength breeds success.

5

Most of us all born with five senses.

Smell.

Touch,

Taste.

Hearing.

Sight.

Some are born missing a one or a few of these.

And some die without full understanding and utilizing each one.

Our sense of smell is very powerful.

It can make you want to leave a room and never return.

Or if you smell something you love never wanna leave.

Life is full of wonderful and hateful smells.

The scent of your love.

Brownies baking in the oven.

Fresh cut grass. 

Blooming flowers.

If you do not stop and smell these.

If all you do is walk around and sniff and think you smell bull.

Life will be bull, and completely void of happiness.

We use our hands to touch and feel things.

Soft blankets.

Hard rocks.

Melted ice.

Warm hearts of our loved ones.

Icy souls of the ones who focus on the hatred of the world.

The things we touch are the ones we remember the most.

Help someone.

Love someone.

Touch a life today.

Forget the feeling of hatred.

Life can be sweet like a bowl of ice cream.
Or sour like a fresh cut lemon.
Life may be salty like fresh baked pretzel which few can only appreciate.
Or life may be bland like a bowl full of white rice.
Sweet, sour, salty, bland, and all the tastes of life have their places in life.
They teach us what we like as an individual and what we want more of.
And if you like the taste why not put yourself out there and get the full thing!

People talking.
Cars driving.
Music Blaring.
Babies laughing.
Are all normal occurring sounds day in and day out.
We hear people talk but most of the time don't fully listen.
We sit there nodding our head and occasionally smiling.
Agreeing with what they say, so we can move on to silence.
If we took the time to listen and understand, it wouldn't just be talking, it would be a conversation.
Cars driving on the road is just a symbol of man's intelligence and what we have achieved so far.
It is proof that dreams do come true.
 What we call music others may not agree.
But all music deep down is art that only your ears can fully appreciate.
The sound of baby laughter is a sign of the past innocence we once had.
And something of pure happiness to work for in the future.

 We have two eyes and yet a few of us die without fully seeing.
We go on day in and day out taking advantage of all the sights we see everyday.
The red headed sign waiver who stares at you while you drive by.
Old couples walking around still in love holding hands, stealing a kiss here and there.
Children looking around to see if anyone is watching them before they misbehave.
And never realizing we are always watching them whether they know it or not.
Looking at your loved ones finding more and more reasons why you love them.
Ones you didn't see before and noticing ones you may have forgotten,
If we look at everything with not only our eyes, but also our heart we then truly see the world as it should be.
Full of beauty,
Beauty everywhere.
In everything.
And everyone.

Smell.

Touch,

Taste.

Hearing.

Sight.

Some are born missing a one or a few of these.

And some die without full understanding and utilizing each one.

Looking Back

I was meaning to post this blog on Sunday but I was sick, so I am sorry.  But when ever I seem to plan to write a blog I usually don't, but more than rather when I need to is when they come out :)  And yes I know its a hello kitty cake but I thought it was CUTE!!! (ok heres a man card!)

Each year I get older I just get older, but this year I really started to analyze my life and where it's at.  And trust me if your not in the right loving kind state of mind this can be a very dangerous thing to do.  You will start to over analyze every little detail and keep asking yourself why you are where you at instead of looking where you are at now and be genuinely impressed with yourself.  I did both and the first time I didn't do it with my heart and just compared it to what I had planned out years ago it brought me down, and brought me down hard.  But then I looked at it again with an open heart and wide eyes and have realized my plan wasn't big enough.  

When man makes plans, God laughs.  This is my motto and I know it to be true.  I'm going to take you on a little ride called Dane's life how I planned it to be, and how and why my life is 100 times better than what I had planned out.  First of all I didn't plan to have kids till I was 30, and after I became a successful Hollywood writer/director.  You see back in the days of my first trip though ITT I wrote a screenplay, it has 24 pages I think.  I think its really funny, its super vulgar, and basically a rip off of Clerks and Mallrats combined.  It was called NFS Tech (Not Film School Tech) and it was about my time at ITT with my buddies.  When I was writing it I thought it was hilarious, still to this day I think it is, but it is not me.  It's basically a stoner comedy, and having a guy who doesn't do drugs write a movie like that just shows how bad he is copying and is super desperate.  (P.S. if you wanna read it let me know I still have it somewhere),  So I stopped writing it.  Instead I moved on to writing another movie called "Confessions of a Teenage Boy" which was about this teen who was dating this girl no one liked (very similiar to real life at the time) and was a total screw up, and couldn't do anything right.  Well he tries to kill himself, but fails at that too and gets amnesia instead and has to learn about his life all over, and realizes he screwed up big time and rights all his wrongs.  I stopped writing that one for two reasons: 1. I was becoming depressed writing it and thinking about it constantly, and 2. that same year Confessions of A Teenage Drama Queen came out with Lindsey Lohan, and I thought okay God thanks for the huge sign to stop writing and I did.  For many years.

If my plan followed through like it was supposed I wouldn't know any of you reading this, and my life wouldn't be near as rich.  I might of had famous friends, but getting famous friends to hang out is probably a trillion times harder.  And through the time we have hung out at work, outside of work, online, or where ever I know deep down I am one the luckiest men alive because of those memories.  Never take advantage of the people you meet for everyone you meet has the potential to have a huge part in your life, or a very small one.  Family is there for you always and will most likely always tell you the truth, you just have to be open to listening to it.  Mothers and Fathers know what they are talking about because guess what they were once kids to and they might be telling you how they reacted because it worked for them, or telling you how they wish they reacted in retrospect because it would of been a better choice in the long run.  I'm just saying try opening your eyes and ears first, then open your mouth when you truly know what they are trying to tell you. And friends. I did a whole blog on friends in the past, but simply put every stranger you meet is a simple hello  or hows it going away from becoming a friend.  I've made a lot of close friends with that mentality, and I wouldn't change them for the world.  I am truly humbled to say I have such close of friends they all feel like family to me, and to that I say thank you.

But looking back at that plan and what I have been through in the past I'm way happier where I ended up.  A father of three, a husband for ten years, a son my parents can be proud of, the brother my sister deserves, and a man lucky to have everyone that he has in his life, in his life.  I'm writing a book that is so me that I'm the only one who could write it, and I believe this is what God intended for me to showcase my talent for the first time, and only gave me a glimpse of it in the past, and finally let it all come to light when I was ready and realized that my life is my muse.  So yes in the past I made a plan, and God laughed!  Because he had something better planned for me, I just had to wait for the time, for when I was truly ready for it.

Strength

I feel I need to redeem myself after last nights post about beauty and attempt to do a manly one.  So I decided to do a poem about strength and I hope you enjoy it.  But on a side note I love last nights post and am truly humbled on how much everyone loved it :)

We only get stronger by doing things over and over.

Challenging ourselves with more and more weight in our lives. 

Showing no matter how strong we are now there is always the ability to become stronger.

Stronger in the body.

Stronger in the soul.

Stronger in the heart.

My arms are strong because of helping others up when they fall down.

My shoulders are strong because of putting my world on top of it, and inviting others to do the same.

My back is strong from helping carrying others when they feel they have no feet to stand on.

My legs are strong from kicking in doors, because I'm tired of waiting for them to open.

My body is strong because of me!

Enduring life has made me strong.

Being a father.

Being a husband.

Being a friend. 

Trying everyday to add more weight and being a better version each day.

Every heartbreak.

Every loss. 

Every victory.

Every love has made me who I am today.

My soul is strong because of life and living it.

Embraces mental and physical.

Kisses soft and deep.

Hugs friendly and loving.

Every mistaken partner.

My one soul mate.

Family and friends.

Sons and daughters.

My heart is strong because of love.

My body is strong because of me.

My soul is strong because of life and living.

My heart is strong because of love!

end

Beauty!

All right first before I give up a man card for this blog just a fair warning.  There will be no makeup tips, tutorials, hair teasing videos, or nail painting discussed in this blog, except for right there.  This blog will be all about inner and personal beauty and my true definition of beautiful and what someone has to be to clarify as beautiful in my eyes.  So if you're looking for tips on how to be superficial beautiful look elsewhere, in fact if you find any send them my way because I need all the help I can get..... :)

Society now has clouded and poisoned our minds with what should declare beautiful, and us as people have sadly embraced it.  We all want idolize celebrities and strive to look like them, body, clothe, and makeup wise.  But here's the sad truth about that, that look they are pulling off is their own, and not yours.  You can slap lipstick on, get your hair done, and throw on a dress but all that doesn't hide the true image of your soul.  A woman to me is just pretty if she has the look that we are programmed to like, and only becomes beautiful once I get to know the kind of person she is.  

To go off of more the celebrity route women and men both have their list of people they find attractive.  For women it might go like Channing Tatum, Reggie Bush, Ryan Reynolds, etc... and for some guys it might go like Taylor Swift, Anne Hathaway, Megan Fox etc.  And we as people try so hard to look like the guys/girls that the opposite sex wants, but fail to realize that we will never look like that.  I've worked my @$$ off for the last few years to gain a six pack, and do I have one, no.  A reason might be because my genes won't let me, I like coffee and Dutch Bros way to much, or maybe its because I don't need them.  We can never become someone else no matter how had try.  Instead we should get in touch with our soul, and become the most beautiful version of ourselves, and if that's not good enough for some, truth is they are not worth it.  

The one thing that stays with me when I meet someone is their personality.   Not their hair color, their made up face, their revealing shirt, the inner beauty stays with me.  And us as a society should adopt that philosophy to because we all need more truly beautiful people in the world, and the only way to help that along is by helping others realize they are beautiful too.  I know it sounds corny but the words "You are beautiful" have a very profound effect on people and most people will smile when they year those three words.  But some might fight it and doubt you, if that happens you need to tell them why they are beautiful.  If you are wondering right now why you are beautiful ask me and I will tell you.

I kept this short because to me being beautiful is as simple as being yourself.  The more people realize that, the more beautiful people there will be in this world!

Masks

All right before this blog gets read I first must establish some ground rules, call it Blog Club if you will.  First rule of Blog Club is you don't talk about Blog Club, actually do, because I like getting more readers :).  Second rule of Blog Club is before you read this post you must promise me to not immediately message me asking me if I'm ok.  Because I'm ok, just need to get a few things off of my chest.  And the third rule of Blog Club is.....

A lot of us wear masks, and some are so good at it people don't believe it's a mask we are wearing.  It might be a permanent smile, extremely high self esteem, or crying in attempt for attention that we crave.  I know people that wear all those masks, but its only for the public to see.  If you wanna see someone for who they truly are you must catch them off guard and look at them when they don't know you are.  I'm not saying hide in the bushes of their home, I'm just saying glance at them when they think they are alone.  Chances are you will see them in their natural state, a dormant state where they can't control the mask anymore.  They might just be staring off into space but in all actuality they are gaining the inner strength to go back out there and be the person that others need them to be, even it means lying to themselves and others telling them they are just fine.  

     

One of the many reasons I call myself a superhero is not because I can lift a car over my head( I can't), but it is because I've chosen to pick up a cape and a mask and put them both on.  My role is to help others with their problems in life and fly off into the sunset to forget about mine.  Which is fine because if I incorporate my time with others issues, it is much easier to ignore my own,  I think that is why people become therapists to help them remember that there are other people out there who need help, so it will be ok if I don't help myself out.  (Once again I want to remind you of the rules of Blog Club because if you ask me if I'm ok I will tell you I am and that will be it.)  Everyone needs saving but who saves the heroes of the world.  If heroes are saving other heroes then technically aren't doing their job.  They're supposed to be helping the helpless, not saving the helpers.   

Sometimes circumstances build on each other way to much to put the mask on, and those days are the worst.  The feeling is you are numb to the world, can't feel sadness or even joy.  You are just numb.  Tears don't form, smiles are non-existent, day is just blah, just picture a mask with eyes but no mouth to show expression.  It theses days most of all that we must be left alone , because the mask wearers are in a fragile state of mind, because they are not guarded by their usual facial shield of smiles, unicorns, and sunshine.  This is also a sign that the mask has been on for way too long, and should be put away at all costs.  Constantly lying to yourself and others about how you feel is not only detrimental to yourself, but also others and your relationships with them.  I'm not saying throw away the mask completely because we all have days we need to hide ourselves from others, I'm saying keep it in your back pocket or shirt pocket at all times.  Because who knows when you will only need it for a little bit.  

Balance

First things first, if I blogged last night or even this morning I would of been breaking my no blogging when angry rule, so I'm glad I held off on it.  Because the longer I let this idea simmer in my head it actually came into the shape you are about to read about.  And also there will be another blog on Valentines Day about love letters, because well it's Valentine's Day or VD for short and I'm a romantic :).  So without further ado, I give you my analysis on balance and how it affects our lives!

The secret to life is very simple, it's balance.  Life is full of balance either way the dark and the light side, and when either side gets overloaded it distorts reality and we see things as either everything is against or us, or the world is too fricking full of sunshine and unicorns that this can't all possibly be true.  I know because I've had a ton of both days.  This weekend was hell for me, actually it wasn't just the weekend, but complaining about it won't do jack.  Every where I looked I saw black and no white in sight, and when that happens you must make a a decision amongst yourself, either give in the darkness, or since you can't find out light YOU must shine the light and offset the balance.  That's what I realized this afternoon, I was determined that this weekend was going to suck because that's how my week was mostly going in my eyes, so why would anything change.  So life decided to make my prediction come true and throw everything my way, and honestly I came very close to just throwing in the towel and just letting it all out, But then I decided to show life the middle finger so to speak, smiled, and decided to be the light that was missing.

     Everyone asks do you think your glass is half empty or half full, my answer from now on will be simple, who the HELL drank my water in the first place, and did they get their germs on my glass.  Very simply put its your glass of water, not anyone elses, and we all do our own thing with our glasses.  Me I like to stick a straw in it sometimes and blow bubbles and make a fun mess of things, or other times just pick up the glass and throw it hard against the wall and see if it will break.  And if it breaks I clean up the mess, and grab my plastic Hulk slurpee cup and refill the water and start all over.  In a nutshell you decide in your life what to do, and you, and only you have the ability to change it, but only if you truly want to.  Saying you want to lose weight, write a book, go to the gym, run a marathon, are greats things to say, but saying them won't make them come true.  You must do them to make them come true.  And I'll tell you what every little step you make towards that goal your reaching for get's easier and easier.  I was watching myself in the mirror at the gym and I was just looking at myself realizing I had no idea how much I've changed throughout the years.  The reason for the change is very simple, I took my water and I drank from it without anyone asking me if it was half empty or etc, and if it was empty I got up and refilled it myself, and if others were thirsty I would get them their own cup and encourage them to take a sip, and take control of their destiny.  

     When life seems out of balance its because you have given it a chance to become that way, whether you know it or not.  The balance of your life should only rely on one person, and that one person is you.  Sure we may get wobbly here and there, we might fall down, and when those events occur that's where friends and family come into play to give your a helping hand.  Tell you go get back up, lean more to the right or left, and just breathe.  You should never rely on someone to keep your own balance, because that same person who you're relying on has to keep their own balance.  People asked me if I went insane today at work and for one reason I went from mopey, depressed, down right grumpy, to borderline psychotic sarcastic happiness in a flip of the switch.  You can be sad that you cut your tip of the thumb off, dug through trash for no reason, printers not working, dough running out, but being sad and angry about it doesn't do anything, in fact the only thing it does it make it easier to keep loading up on you and slowly, slowly push all that weight down on you, and hurt you really bad.  To change the balance all you do is very simple, be the light where there is only darkness it seems, grab your glass of water (maybe throw it against the wall a few times), and swing the balance of your life in the right direction.  The only person who controls your own inner pendulum is you so swing away, and carry on, because I promise life will get better if you believe it will.