Self Destruct
The short fuse has been lit.
Day in and day out same bullshit.
Begging the world to say yes.
Always showing its worst when I only give my best.
What doesn't kill us only makes us strong.
We all tire of hearing that same old song.
People all around whispering, wondering if I'm going to lose it.
Truth is I'm closer than I want to admit.
Counting down from ten to one.
The countdown to explosion has once again begun.
Bystanders run from being affected by the impending boom.
Then come back running when shit goes flying across the room.
Tears and rage I bottle up and hide.
Keeping my true emotions deep inside.
Another phone call or text seems to always bring bad news.
Praying to win, but seem to always lose.
Trying so hard to squelch this rage.
With every word I write on this page.
Wishing I could just walk away.
While the world whispers, asking once again to save the day.
Knowing deep down it is what heroes always do.
They stay and fight for all that is true.
It's hit zero and I'm about to blow.
Damage all contained inside so nobody will know.
Close my eyes and think of my happy place.
Picturing each friend, and family loved one face.
Knowing in my heart I was born for so much more.
This is God's way of testing me and making me strong what He has in store.
The bomb has gone off and there is no fire or smoke.
Laugh and I smile and hide my pain with a joke.
Time ticking until the fuse it lit again.
Dreading it to begin and wishing it to end.
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