Hold on....

What do you do when you see someone on the brink?

On the edge of tears.

Being swallowed by all their fears.

Somebody who wants to cry.

Smiling at the world in hopes of it believing the lie.

Knowing a person who puts everything on their shoulders.

Marching and smiling like a good soldier.

You hold on.

What do you do when you see someone who's gone to far?

While they dangle over the edge.

Because they got to close to the ledge.

Bottling up the truth for too long.

That they started to believe their own song.

Always living a life full of so many questions.

And never taking their own suggestions.

You hold on to their hand.

What do you do when sadness takes hold and won't let go?

Let them cry until there tears are no more.

They have broken down their walls and have given you a key to their locked door.

Feel every second of each heart beat.

Showing the monsters deep down they will feel defeat.

Always be there and never let them go.

They need you more than they will let you know.

You hold on that hug.

What do you do when you miss love?

Make note the way their lips taste.

The look of pure beauty in their face.

When you take their breath away.

Being in each other lives makes living worth it everyday.

Cherish every embrace.

Knowing you won when you finally became brave enough to start the chase.

You hold on to that kiss.

What do  you do when a child looks up to you?

Teach them what was fun when you were a kid.

Show them what you wish you did before you became to big.

Rule each other's life with love.

Protect them from the coldness of life like a winter's glove.

And always, always, always be there.

Showing up and listening is the biggest way of showing you care.

You hold on to their spirit.

What do you when you become lost?

Dream big and make your fantasies large.

Show the world that your ultimately in charge.

Listen to what you friends and family say.
They see your life in a whole different way.

Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is too late to start.

Stop feeding the demons and listen to your heart.

You hold on to you.

Hold on to love.

Never let go of life.

Give Up

No matter how strong we always have a day.

When we want to throw our hands up and walk away.

Always seeing our goals as too far.

And never giving enough credit for being where we are.

We all think success is a straight line.

Truth is anything worth anything takes time.

Success and failure is part of everyone's destiny.

Hiding our monsters and mistakes so no one can see.

Giving excuses of what is holding us back.

Instead of balling up our fists getting ready to attack.

Life never gets easier we just become strong.

Learning when we are right, but learning even more when we are wrong.

Motivation and degradation in the same voice.

Who you listen to is your own choice.

Sometimes the words of encouragement that are said.

Are blocked by the demons in your head.

Whispering in your ear that you are never enough.

All you are is weak and you will never be tough.

Those words cut deep and make you bleed.

Giving more fuel for your nightmares to feed.

When it feel's like your only option is to give up, don't.

You say to yourself I will always bounce back, but chances are you won't.

You will lose all that momentum you had going for you.

Dreams will only be dreams, but failure will be come true.

Always climb every mountain to the top.

Go at full speed and throw out the word stop.

Destroy the flag that is only white.

Never give up without giving a fight.

A wise puppet told me there only do, no try.

And we only regret the things we never did when we die.

The sad king

And now for a completely change of pace, here's a poem about a dinosaur.  That has no hidden meaning, that I know of.  If you find one let me know :D

The Sad King

Big head.

Small arms.

All the other dinosaurs laugh at me.

No chance at being a ninja.

Unable to walk.

Only stomp.

Never felt the warm embrace of a hug.

Or the friendliness of a high five.

This makes me a sad king.

No way of doing a push up.

Walk by the bench press bench and just cry.

Can't hide a bad hair day with a hat.

Always picked last at sports.

Nobody wants a short fore arm on their team.

Constantly teased by dinosaurs that run through my legs.

Can't paint my toenails by myself.

Always the last one tagged.

And never able to tag anyone back.

This makes me a sad king.

Powerful tail.

Razor sharp teeth.

Dinosaurs make fun of me.

Because they fear me.

I am their boogey man come to live.

Everyone hides their babies from me.

For I am king of the dinosaurs.

And yet I am still sad.

I am the dark. I am the Knight

My life changed with a single gun shot.

As a man laughed and pulled a trigger without a second thought.

He left a boy and his family in an alley to rot.

He has no idea his own ticket to pain and punishment he just bought.

Revenge for my family will be sought.

I am the dark.  I am the knight.

Now I hide in the blackest of night.

Never afraid, never back down from a fight.

Making it my dying wish that every wrong will be right.

As I hide in the shadows punching and kicking my enemies with all my might.

I embrace the darkness, because I've been betrayed by the light.

I am the dark.  I am the knight.

That night my enemies made me.

Having no idea that they created my destiny.

They wanted a nightmare, so a nightmare I will be.

Putting my personal life on lock and throwing away the key.

And I will not hang up the cape until my city feels free.

I am the dark.  I am the knight.

For crooks I'm a nightmare, for the good citizens I am a dream.

Looking with anticipation in the sky, hoping to see the beam.

I love hearing bones break, and hearing the bad guys scream.

I can come out of the shadows, or straight out of the steam.

I work better alone, I can't handle a team.

I am the dark.   I am the knight.

I run around chasing a man with a painted on face.

Hellbent on destroying the human race.

Strong men who are slow, and agile ones that can keep up the same pace.

Every criminal I vow to never give up the chase.

Locking up every psycho in that Arkham place.

I am the dark.  I am the knight. 

Was barely a boy, forced to be a man.

Taking every opportunity that I can.

Revenge is all the fuel I needed, so I ran.

That day in that alley my new life began.

The day I became...

I am the dark.  I am the knight. 

Reflection part 2

It's been a year since I stared at that man in the mirror.

And becoming the man I saw a little bit clearer.

My arms got stronger.

My heart got bigger.

My soul got tougher.

My enemies got further.

And more importantly my friends and family got closer.

My eyes are blood shot.
From staying up all night just thinking thought after thought.
Where I want to be in life am I there.
You look at other's lives and you can't help but compare.
Sitting in the dark of night in complete silence.
As the angels and demons are done arguing and just result to violence.
Trying desperately to put a smile on the face.
So hopefully the pain and scars will erase.

It's been a year since I stared at that man in the mirror.

And becoming the man I saw a little bit clearer.

My arms got stronger.

My heart got bigger.

My soul got tougher.

My enemies got further.

And more importantly my friends and family got closer.

Look at my hands and you will see unknown blisters and rough skin.
The result of the growing and torture I place my hands in.
Clenching my fists ready and willing to fight.
Look in my eyes and see it is not tonight.
Instead I put my fists down and pick up a pen.
And find the healthier and the smarter way to battle the demon.
Close my eyes and go deep within my mind.
And always with a cool brain the greatest retaliation I find.

It's been a year since I stared at that man in the mirror.

And becoming the man I saw a little bit clearer.

My arms got stronger.

My heart got bigger.

My soul got tougher.

My enemies got further.

And more importantly my friends and family got closer.

I found the gift I was given to change the game.
The reason I was born, and for people to know my name.
Words literally started coming out of nowhere.
I had stories and thoughts that I knew I had to share.
A year ago I found my voice.
And instead of being silent like most of my life, I made the opposite choice.

It's been a year since I stared at that man in the mirror.

And becoming the man I saw a little bit clearer.

My arms got stronger.

My heart got bigger.

My soul got tougher.

My enemies got further.

And more importantly my friends and family got closer.

I would talk and people would actually listen.
Knowing to themselves that they aren't the only person with the situation they are in.
People actually thanking me and sharing the exact same things I said.
And I was in complete shock because that came from my head.
A man who a year earlier hadn't wrote one line of poetry in over 10 years.
Walked up to the mic and audience was all ears.
And I've come to far to ever go back.
I just feel very sorry for when it's my enemies I start to attack.

2014!

I was going to post this on New Year's Eve but I need to get this all of my chest before I explode.  To say this year opened my eyes would be an understatement.  I now see the world in a whole new light, some people have shown their true colors, I've pissed off people without having any intention of doing so, and I have grown a lot in only a year.  But most importantly the pizza blood that was once in my veins has now been replaced with ink, and to be honest I couldn't be happier.  If you would tell me last year a year from now that I would have 12 chapters written for a book, and fifty poems that I have shared which was always a problem for me in the past, and people actually liked them, I would tell you that you are off your fricking rocker!  I am in a place right now where my mind is always in writer mode whether it be at work, at the gym, lying in bed, reading to first graders trying not to fall asleep, or actually writing.  And in the year 2014 I swear to you there will be a facebook status that reads, "So I wrote a book!", and if there isn't I will drink Starbucks for a month.
   
Now onto to the changes I'm making in 2014.  I dink around a lot, too much, and spend way to much time on things that don't do anything for me in general.  Well I'm done with it.  I'm ending this year at 205 pounds which is 10 pounds heavier than I was last year, but with less body fat, so I'm ok with that!  In fact I'm ecstatic with that!  But next year I'm refocusing on me and things that matter the most.  My family, my writing, my friends that care about me, stop worrying about the assholes of the world, and myself in general.  Being a father I have seen how fast kids grow up, and I don't want to miss a moment of it.  You need to cherish every moment you have with them, because right now they want you to hang with them, sooner or later you will no longer be the cool dad, and I realize that.  So I'm going to soak in that title as much as possible as I can.  Now onto the friends.  This might piss some people off but I'm tired of sitting silence anymore. If you contact me just if you need something, please delete me from your contacts!  I'm done wasting hellos without any responses.  People get busy I get that, but theres always time to send a quick hey to a friend, you never know they might need that little bright spot in there day.  They might be thinking to themselves that maybe I am invisible, and then you get a quick hey whats up, and you then realize that people do notice you in this world.  Well I'm done being the guy who sends out lighthouse hellos, because somedays there's no hey back, until something is needed.  Am I angry yes, am I angry at people, no.  I'm angry at myself for not stopping after the tenth no answer, but I'm done being angry with myself, and concentrating my anger to focus instead.

Focus on what you may ask, or who knows you might of stopped reading that last paragraph, thought to yourself, F this guy!  And deleted me from Facebook and so forth.  If that's the case I"m a little sorry, but keeping all this inside was poisoning more than I ever knew until lately.  From now on all the wasted time I took trying to talk to shadows will be now be focused on writing and the gym.  I will go to the gym every day for at least an hour, but I'm done posting it on Facebook.  In fact I'm done flooding everyone's facebook feeds, because it takes up way to much time.  I will still post the occasional poem, or insightful thoughts, but for the most part I will be silent.  I spend way to much time on there and if I want to post that status about my book being done, this must be done.  No more excuses, no more distractions, just the light at the end of the tunnel is all I see.  And who I see there is everyone who has been rooting for me, and some I didn't know I had until lately.  And I can't let those people down!

It's Time

Fall or fly.

Live not die.

Done aiming low, I'm shooting high.

Laugh and smile at the world, no longer cry.

Dreams brighter than the sun in the sky.

Prying open each eye.

Now I see my true destiny.

The most honest me I can be.

From now on it's me being me.

No longer standing still like a dead tree.

Buzzing around the world like a free bee.

The light at the tunnel is all I can see.

My future is an unexplored as the sea.

I'm kicking down the door, screw trying to find the key.

The beast is let out of the cage.

Writing with the perfect combination of love and rage.

Have to get the words from the mind to the page.

Speaking with no fear on a giant stage.

People listen from every range of age.

My skin and heart breaks the metal on the gage.

Counting down the days till I can rest on the plage.

Its to early to hear angels sing.

But it is ok if they give me a wing.

I already found my love and gave her a ring.

Spent way to much of life being a ding.

Tired of being a pawn in life I must become a king.

Finally found the balls to take the bat and swing.

My own brand of whoop ass in the only thing I will bring.

I'm no longer a writer part-time.

Stole my fate back like a grand larceney crime.

Done being silent like an unpaid, untalented mime.

Being stuck in this nasty smelling slime.

I see that mountain, I grab my gear and climb,

I'm not going to waste anymore of my prime.

It's about F*ing time!

So Much More....

So Much More....

Christmas means so many things.

To so many different people.

It is the time of the year when our hearts are filled with love.

We put our differences aside and our enemies become our peers for a moment.

There is a magic in the air that the only way it can be described is magic.

It is all these things and so much more...

The stores start stocking for this special time as soon as Halloween is over.

We complain about the timing, and yet we still buy it.

It creeps up earlier and earlier each year.

We all get upset about it, but deep down we don't mind.

The children dog ear all their toys in every toy catalog.

Making Santa's lists that change day by day.

Starting in September you can tell your kids five magical words.

"Put it on Santa's list.", and chances are they will forget.

It is all these things and so much more....

Its the Christmas carols being blared from every store day and night.

The workers that loathe Christmas time.

Customers asking if they have a certain toy in back.

Thinking that yes elves do work in the back room.

Parent's praying each day to the toy God's that their child will ask for less.

Or at least the regularly stocked toy.

It is all these things and so much more...

It is the time of the year where children and adults believe in magic once again.

Kids knowing deep down that there is a man in a red suit that awards good behavior.

And most importantly the time of the year when parents can threaten with the horror of the naughty list.

Where every good thing outweighs the bad.

The time of the year when you believe miracles can happen, and they usually do.

It is all these things and so much more...

It is the feeling of community throughout the world.

The feeling of loving one another is the only thing on each others minds.

War is paused in theory for one day. 

Goodwill is the only thing on the mind during this time.

Weapons are laid down.

And hearts are picked up.

It is all these things and so much more...

It's the twinkle in a child's eyes when they open what they have been asking for all year.

It is the peaceful snow falling at night, surprising the kids in the morning.

The clip clop of reindeer on the roof that every kid swears they hear at least once.

The parents with bloodshot eyes stumbling down to the tree trying to make any noise.

With one mission in mind, making their kid's wishes come true.

Christmas is the definition of magic.

For all these things and so much more...

And we all believe in it for at least one day.